Googling Myself

I was speaking with an old friend a few nights ago, and during the conversation, he mentioned that he had Googled my name in an attempt to find a family web site my husband used noodle around with.

At least that was his story on why he Googled me. If he was trying to find any dirt with which to blackmail me or was looking for a few yuk-yuks to amuse himself, he'd have a more fulfilling evening Goggling "crotch+lobster". Not that I ever had a lobster...oh, you know what I meant.

Anywho, he told me that he had found a"Get To Know You" type post that I had written for a parenting board I used to frequent. Upon hearing this, I immediately thought, "Uh oh...I hope I didn't post any dirt with which he could blackmail me." But, I hadn't. Then, upon further curiosity Googling, I found another round of introduction posts where the exercise was to list 50 "things" about yourself. A bit self-indulgent, yes. I, however, evidentally had no problem getting up on stage.

Is your curiosity piqued?

I thought not.

But, here it is anyway.

1. My favorite Beatle is Paul.

Note: I wrote this list about 4 years ago, and I'm not entirely sure this is still true. Paul my favorite Beatle? Do I have to have a favorite? The Beatles pretty much work best as a group. Once you split them up and start pitting one talent or personality against the other, you end up with Yoko shrieking through half the tracks on John's albums, and Ringo holding slight sway over your affections simply because he offers to babysit your children as Mr. Conductor on the Thomas the Tank Engine videos.

2. It used to be John.

Okay, I still like John the best.

3. I'm hot right now...as in sweaty.

If only. It's currently 12 degrees F with 30 mph sustained winds threatening to whip the roof of our back porch.

4. I am 5'4"
5. I am the oldest of two sisters.

Should that be older?

6. I have horrible teeth.
7. I was a Girl Scout.

I am a Girl Scout again, present tense. Adult Girl Scout, to be exact and oxymoronic.

8. I had a crush on Donny Osmond.
9. I am a Virgo.
10. I am a thinker/intuitor
11. I am certified to teach High School English
12. My spelling and grammer are pretty badly.
13. My hometown is F_____, Pennsylvania.

Alright, I'm still a tad paranoid about this blog thing. What if in the future, I said something very controversial, and then some angered reader might go to F______and...uh..and, I don't know...have a beer? Catch a cold? There's not much else to do there.

14. My toenails are painted right now.

Not anymore. Painted toenails...obviously I was under stress.

15. I went through 12 years of Catholic school.

Went through...well, that's not very descriptive. No wonder the New Yorker won't return my calls.

16. There were 54 people in my graduating class.
17. I can touch my nose with my tongue.

Evidentally a genetic trait, as Princess Seconda can do this, too.

Okay, I'll try to hold off on further commentary.

18. I went to speech therapy as a child.
19. I've acted Shakespeare on stage.
20. I saw Rush in concert.
21. I've been to a rave.

I'm sorry, but I'm just not sure that's true. I may have been, but I don't remember. Of course, I put the frozen peas in the spice rack today, so who knows....

22. My dining room is painted turquoise.

Old house. Now, it's orange.

23. I was hit by a bicycle when I was about 9 and almost lost my earlobe.
24. My grandparents were Lithuanian, Polish, Irish and German.
25. I've had 6 abnormal moles removed.

That should read atypical, not abnormal. Whew! Don't scare me.

26. I hate the song "Hotel California".
27. Looking into empty swimming pools freaks me out.
28. I love custard.
29. My middle name is Maria.
30. My confirmation name is Victoria.
31. When I was young, I wanted to be a jockey...as in horse racing.
32. In 8th grade, my best friend and I dressed as Hare Krishnas and walked around F_____ handing out flowers.

Oh good grief, it's Frackville, already.

33. I hate olives.
34. I love olive oil.
35. I see dead people.
36. I can read minds.
37. I knew you were going to say that.
38. I can look like Meryl Streep if I try.
39. I've dressed as a man and people really thought I was a guy.
40. There is potassium iodide in my medicine cabinet and in the glove compartment of my car.
41. I've been in therapy.

Duh.

42. I've been in the basement of Canterbury Cathedral.
43. I love reading Edward Gorey.
44. I have over 500 home decorating magazines.
45. As I write this, there is at least one piece of toast on my kitchen floor.

I cleaned it up.

46. I'm not allergic to poison ivy.

Oh, heveans, if only this were still true.

47. I've eaten horse meat.
48. My sister and I are known to our home friends as The Ugly Sisters. It's affectionate.
49. I broke my nose playing football.
50. I think I'm sweet.

And that's it. A mini-celebration, if you will, of me.

I know what you're thinking: it's this kind of vapid, excessively self-important blogging that's going to ruin it for the rest of us.

But you're also thinking Hmmmmmm...what would my fifty things be?

Go on, post 'em. Go ooonnnnnnnnn.

5 comments:

KK said...

*Smack* There I went and sent you a gallon of olives for Christmas! I knew I should have googled you first.

I'm enjoying reading your stuff in between counting the larger sized popcorn bumps on my ceiling. My ego demanded I write you. Of course if I get caught at the computer writing this the wardens will be after me so I better go.
KK

Jeannine said...

Well, if your middle name were not Maria, it would have to have been Theresa. Though in my family, Dolores is also permissible, that Latina thing you know.

My middle name is also Maria. And so is my elder child's. That he is a boy does not seem to matter; half the boys in Holland seem to have the middle name of Maria. It is a traditional way of indicating that the family is catholic and that this child is the, er, scion I think -- is that the right word for the eldest son of the eldest son?

I might actually take up your gauntlet (if I can think of that many things about myself, lol) but right now I am busy trying not to have a nervous breakdown about the fact that my long divorced parents are reminiscing about their dating days on my blog. Help, this is weirder than thinking about your parents having had sex, lol.

Jozet said...

First, I'm not sure why my comment in response to KK posted 3 times. Sheesh. Funky computer.

Jeannine -

I remember you telling me your son's complete name and I remember noting the Maria in there. I think my Maria came from my father's love of both Sound of Music and West Side Story.

I'll have to go check out the conversation on your blog. Sounds like a promising read. I couldn't even imagine, lol.

Josette

Jozet said...

Sigh...well, now I've succeeded in deleting all my posts to Kim.

I'm going to take a shower, now.

Josette

Bradley Cooper, Winemaker said...

There's a town called Frackville?
Isn't that where the guys from HR PUFNSTUF hang out?

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