No Funny Ha-Ha

Kind of feeling blue today. Not sure why. Could be the high - or possibly low - barometric pressure. That always makes me feel like cuddling up in a warm, dry comfy chair and eating Godivas and drinking bottled water.

Just doing some light reading…

From September 20, 2002

Kiss Your Ass Good Bye

Oh…one more. Here’s a poem I didn’t write. But, heck…I like it. Enjoy!

Jeep Cherokee

Youve never known
a single Indian
who wasnt painted
onto a football helmet
or branded in chrome
on a tailgate, but there you go,
off mashing the landscape
like some edge-city explorer,
flinging yourself toward
new worlds beyond the driveway,
Lewis and Clark
with a seat belt.
Go ahead, you trampling trooper,
you goose-stepping little
Godzilla, you shining beast
of raging fashion,
riding the big teeth
of your tires as if you
would ever follow a dirt road
anywhere but to a car wash.
This is America,
and youfree to drive
anything you can buy
but I will tell you:
Hitler would love this car-
a machine in which even the middle class
can master the world,
purchase their way through peril
safely as senators.
This is a car for
a uniformed strongman,
a one-car motorcade
through a thatched village
of strangers.
This is the car that will
replace Prozac.
This is the car that Barbie buys
with mad money
after the date with Angry White Ken.
This the car that makes it safe
to be hateful in public.
Go ahead. Climb in. Look
at yourself, way up there
on the bridge of this
thick-windowed ship of enterprise.
Everybody knows
the only way today is to
buy your way through,
be bigger, be better,
be a bully, be a barger,
be sure youre safe from the poor,
bustle your way through
each days bombardment
with the muscle of royalty.
Youve got the power
to bring back the monarchy
four fat tires at a time.
Go anywhere. Youre entitled.
You have squashers rights.
Onward! Accelerate,
you brawny bruising winner,
you self-saluting junta on wheels,
you reclaimer of gold-bricked streets.
Democracy is for people
stuck in small cars
and God has never ruled
through traffic laws.
Get used to the feeling
of having your way.
Each broad cut of the steering wheel
is your turn at conquest.
The power-assisted triumph
of the me
in heavy traffic.
You are rolling proof
that voting is stupid,
that the whole damn machine is fixed
before it leaves the factory,
that fairness is a showroom,
that togetherness is for bus riders,
that TV has the right idea:
there is just you in a small room
on the safe side of glass,
with desire spread out before you
like a ballroom without walls,
and you will not be denied,
youve got the moves and the view,
you dont need government, unions,
bank regulation, mercy,
the soft hands of strangers.
Youve got 4-wheel drive
and a phone, youve got
the friendship of a reinforced chassis,
youve got empathy for dictators
without knowing it,
youve got freedom from read-view mirrors,
youve got wide-bodied citizenship,
youve gained Custers Revenge:
caissons packed with children and soccer balls
coasting across the plowed prairie,
history remodeled with one great
blaring of jingles and horns:

Hail Citizen King!
Hail the unswerving settler!
Hail the rule of logo!
Hail Jeep Cherokee!

Bruce A Jacobs

published in Beloit Poetry Journal
Vol 50, No 4, Summer 2000

We so rule.

I think I'll go shopping for shoes today.


The folks at Payless have to eat, right?


1 comment:

Om.powered said...

If only I thought that lovely olive branch symbolized something other than oil...


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