Merci! Danke! Cheers! T'ank Ye!

First...30 things I am thankful for…

And for the no-prepositions-at-end-of-sentences purists...

30 things - people, experiences, and dry goods - for which I today give thanks.

I was going to write a more complete partial catalogue - no matter how oxymoronic that may sound - but thought I should intentionally limit myself and thus not beg any bad karma through forgetfulness. So, here it is…a few hairs off the top of my head.

I am thankful for...

1. Family and friends. Top of the list.

Of course, one is expected to say such things as long one is in the acquaintance of somewhat moral and congenial parents and siblings and bridge partners…but honestly, I really mean it. Thankful, thankful, thankful for my family and friends. I would not be the person I am today without any of yous, and truly, I think I'm kind of neat (for being someone so nearsighted).
2. The good health of myself and all my family and friends.

Again, bad voodoo if you don’t list that one. But sure…don‘t I mean every syllable of it? Two times? 24 hours a day? Excuse me…must now go flip light switch 32 times and then touch my nose with the Merck Manual to each beat of the Oscar Mayer Weiner Song. BRB.

I‘m back.

3. Novocain, Benadryl, Tylenol. In that order.

4. Chocolate anything. Honestly, I really mean it. Chocolate root canal? Yes. That’s good. Especially since we’ve got Novocain.

5. Ice. And fire. In no particular order.

6. The color black, for its magical slimming properties

7. Rubberized rug pads

8. And because two weeks ago I didn’t have rubberized rug pads, I am thankful for a snappy-fast emergency room staff and spray anesthetic.

9. The grilled octopus at Dmitri’s

10. Baby wipes. I use them for everything from freshening-up my sandwiched bits on those days I’m too lazy to take a shower, to spit-shining the bathroom when an unexpected guest arrives. Of course, I use a new one each time…I don’t swipe my underarms and then wipe the toilet rim. Or vice versa.

10. Sushi

11. Anti-parasite drugs

12. Mute buttons and volume control

13. Colored glass


15. Wool socks

16. The Bo Diddly beat

17. Fiddles

18. All the different cheeses of the world. There are just so many! Why, you could try a new one each and every day and never taste them all. Did you know that you could get Stilton with apricots? Okay…so that’s like someone saying “Hey! Did you know that there’s wine that comes in something other than a box?“ And sure I’ll admit: I’m a bit of a cheese rube. But cheese…it’s the last frontier!

19. Washing machines. I could line dry stuff and do my own dishes if absolutely pressed… but scrubbing underwear by hand down at the creek? Nothing doing. My hands are cracked and dry already. Could you imagine?

20. Coffee. Specifically, Brazil Peaberry with half-and-half and a teaspoon of sugar in my favorite mug.

21. Boston Cream Doughnuts

22. Bill Bryson

23. Franz Schubert Impromptus op. 90 & 142. Because I sound smart saying that.

24. eBay

25. Tape

26. That my parents didn’t think it was immoral, detrimental or otherwise odd to allow me to spend a large part of my childhood at my Grandparent’s house, specifically, playing in the barroom attached to their house, pretending to serve customers, learning how to rinse beer glasses, and chatting-up the Second World War vets who were missing arms and who told me that given enough whiskey highballs, the arms would grow back. I think that this was an important defining extended-experience for this writer, especially as coincided with those years during which I also believed in Santa, unquestioned the creation of the world in 144 hours, and sighed to the indomitable cuteness of Donny Osmond.

27. Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon

28. The smell of horses

29. Pop Rocks

30. Spin the bottle. Because otherwise, I never would have had “five minutes in the closet” with any of the boys at Jennifer W.’s infamous co-ed parties in fifth grade.

But hey, I was invited, right?

Oh yes…and now that I’ve listed 30, I’m tempted to continue on. Of course, now, immediately I have another niggling “me too’s!” nagging me on to list another 30...or 300...or 3,000.

I’m just such a thankful person.


I really mean it.


Anonymous said...

Hi jozet. Thought I would check out your... blog :)

ps. I was drunk last night myself... I was, uh, shameless!

Unknown said...

Read both your posts (Nov.24 and 25). Sure glad you're back.
Reading between the lines, did you have an accident with a rug? What was the outcome?
Loved your 30 things to be thankful for. Or 30 things which, today, you are thankful.
I may do a riff on that. I'm thinking of starting a blog to ramble on about anything instead of being hemmed in by the wine thing. Keep it coming! I got a feeling the the non-denominational holiday period will be rife with blogging material for you and your lucid prose.
I thought that you would purchase another pair of pants (during your Black Friday excursion)to make your butt look good so that your profile would be less plaintive.
Cheers! said...

Well! As a matter of FACT, I did purchase two more pairs of jeans that make my butt look pretty darn good. I mean, I'm no J.Lo...but the right jeans can make an almost-40-yo tush look...lively.

So yes, I will have to change my profile blurb.

And you know that if you start a blog, I'll be all over it. With bells on. And my new jeans.

Although, alas, I will be gone for another week while we venture to Disney World on a family (and I hesitate to call it this...) vacation. You know what I'm talking about.

And the older daughter was dancing on the rug and it went up and she went down to the tune of three stiches on her chin.

Blog! Blog! Blog! Tell me when you're new rambling blog is up!

Author said...

Ok crikees...that's "your blog" not "you're blog".

Anonymous said...

31. Bacon

32. Newspaper home delivery. I mean, before the crack of dawn each and every single day, someone has researched, written, fact-checked, assembled, printed, folded, and brought by hand directly to my door step all the news and information I could ever think to need to get me through that day... for 50 cents?!??!! God, we live in a great country.

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