Did Tom and Katie really have a baby?
Okay, maybe not that question.
How about this one...
Question: Did you have that baby yet?
No, no and finally, no.
The baby is still very comfortable inside me with his enormous head resting on my lungs.
He kicks, he beats his fists against me, he hiccups.
Ocassionally - usually between the hours of 11:30 PM and 7:00 AM - I have contractions. Very big stomach-tightening contractions which wake me up and make me press my hands across my hips so that they don't explode in opposite directions.
I count the contractions: every 15 minutes, every 10 minutes...every 10 minutes, 10 minutes and holding.
And then, I get up to walk around or bake some late-night zucchini bread, and the contractions stop.
So...we have a baby who still won't turn, a body that thinks contractions are a lot of fun as long as they're not real work, and a c-section date of Monday, July 31.
On Monday, July 31, at 1:00 PM this child will be evicted.
Which leads me to the second question I know is on eveyrone's mind:
Are you going to the super fabulous BlogHer Conference this weekend? Everyone, but EVERYONE who's anyone will be there! Girls, girls, girls! Blogs, blogs, blogs! Fun, fun, fun! C'mon! It'll be great! Someone there should be able to deliver a baby!
No, I will not be there.
I don't want to talk about it.
And finally and most importantly, a big THANK YOU for everyone's suggestions on how to turn a stubborn baby. I have tried just about everything at this point. The baby scooted down a few times, but ultimately he seems to find the pillow that is my lung to be more comfy than the pillow that is my bladder. So, unless he flips - and yes, I will make sure to have an ultrasound before going under the knife - this baby will be delivered the good old-fashioned way: much pain and bodily fluids on my part, many cigars and martinis on my husband's part.
And a double THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who read through that monster post that was not about bats, and to eveyrone who offered their sympathy, empathy and camaradarie. And blueberry Stoli.
I've calmed down a bit since the orignal incident. I think rabies shots do that to you.
Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge all the wonderful comments and the support I've been receiving over the past few days, both on-line and in "real life".
Although, the two do blur at times.
But...you know...thank you. Sincerely.
And now to write that bat post.
And then have a baby.