I was thinking I'd help beat the winter blahs by signing-up the kiddies for some water tot programs, and maybe also, you know, challenge myself with an adult aqua class or two.
Hmmm. Is The Bellyflop a dive?
How about a synchronized swimming class?
I always look so fetching in a rubber skull cap.
But my interest was really piqued when I came to the final listing:
Theory And Confined Water Scuba
This sounded like serious fun.
None of those airy-fairy swan dives or spiraling arabesques with toes pointed and Knox gel in my hair.
I want to gear up big time. I want goggles and flippers and an oh-so-form-fitting Scuba suit in black leather with flames down the side. I want to deep sea dive and poke at sharks with big sticks. I want to explore the wrecks of Spanish galleons and stuff handfuls of gold doubloon into my Aqua Bra.
Yes! Water Scuba! That’s the class for me!
I could do this!
And then I read the class description and prerequisites:
During my lifeguard training class in 1983, I had to tread water for 30 minutes. I think I got a nosebleed at minute 14.
I’m an Aqua Weinie.
So yeah. Friendly warning not to challenge the Cumberland Valley Scuba Divers to an endurance round. Those guys are hardcore.
Anyway…who wants to dive in a quarry?
All that’s down there is a bunch of stolen Chevelles and a few ex-mobsters.
I think I’ll go for this cap.