I'm not telling you what I was Googling that lead me to this video.
Second of all, I strongly recommend that you show this video to any child between the ages of 5 and 10 - the years I like to refer to as the Poop-is-Hilarious Golden Years - to achieve instant godlike status in your home as being the funniest person alive on the face of the earth. Yeah, I get that parents aren't supposed to be friends with their kids, or be cool, nor should they be the source of introduction to even more doody jokes. But since the last words my 8 year old spoke to me today before getting on the bus were something like, "You are unfair and mean and I'm pretty sure that you grind children's bones to bake your bread and you love everyone else more than me even the lady who bags the groceries and broke our eggs..." - I don't remember the exact phrasing, but the bone imagery was especially effective when paired the teeth gnashing and tearing of her pigtails -
(And this all because I insisted that I would not sign her homework agenda book when she had not, in fact, finished her homework. Logical consequences are not pretty.)
Well, anyway, I need one of those cuddly, happy, connected moments with my kids that only a poop song can effectuate.
Afterwards, I'll immediately sit down and write "I am the grown-up" five-thousand times and then mail the lines off to Drs. Laura and Brazelton. I promise.
As soon as I'm done watching the Poop for Peace video again.
And then emailing it to my sister.
Because we are five.
(For anyone who is concerned that my children are being overly exposed to coarse humor, please do not fret. I'm teaching them French, as well.)
From The Poop Report
(ACHTUNG! The entire Poop Report site is not kid friendly. Tread carefully.)
"Today, humanity stands on the brink. Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Israel, Darfur... across the world, violence and anger overwhelm any progress towards peace and liberty. We are a divided species, basing our hatreds on even the most arbitrary classifications, unable to move past our quarrels to embrace common humanity. Since difference is all we can see, suffering is all we can expect.
That's why you should go poop right now.
Because today, April 13, is Poop For Peace Day.
Poop For Peace Day is not about protest or partisanship or politics. Poop For Peace Day is about acknowledging the fundamental basis of shared humanity: black or white, liberal or conservative, Christian or Muslim or Jew, we are all united in struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.
So print out your Poop for Peace guide sheet, drink some coffee to get things moving, and head off to the bathroom. As you grunt out your morning constitutional, think of the billions of people all across the world who are undergoing the exact same struggle. Think of the children of Iraq and the children of America. Think of Bush and Blair and Hussein and bin Laden, and think about the fact the twelve hours following Taco Bell are going to unfold for each of them in the exact same way. Think about how our differences are irrelevant -- we're all human beings. Our poop proves it.
Today, April 13, 2007, war is over -- if you grunt it."