Well, not done yet. I’m going to write something right now.
I mean, right NOW.
Isn’t the present tense fun?
Okay, enough of that.
My helpful instructions today are on how to write a blog post when you have nothing in particular to write about.
This is a sort of mobius strip of a post that turns back in on itself while writing about writing it. Mobius is a great word. But there’s another great word which means "that kind of activity that is an activity about the activity". However, I don’t know what that word is. I wonder whether my husband knows. Hold on, I’ll ask him.
Alright, well that wasn’t helpful. See...
Me: Hey, I’m writing a blog post and I need some help. What’s that great word…
Husband: Botulism is a great word. Use that one.
Me: No. Listen. What’s that word that means, like, when you’re doing an activity, but the activity is about describing the activity that you’re doing? You know. That word?
Husband: Oh! I know! It’s like that painting. “This is not a bowl of flowers.” That one.
Me: Bowl of…No, no, no. It’s “This is not a pipe.”
Husband: Oh yeah?
Me: So, what’s the word?
Husband: I don’t know…meta? No, that’s not it.
Me: That’s only part of a word anyway.
Husband: It’s like that Norman Rockwell painting…
Me: The one of him painting a portrait of himself painting a portrait of himself?
Me: Okay! Yeah! So what’s that called?!
Husband: A painting.
Me: No! It’s not a painting!
Husband: A pipe?
Me: No! Stop it!
Husband: A bowl of flowers, then.
Me: Just forget it.
Anyway, that is what this post will have to be for now: a mobius strip post. Thanks - and no thanks - to my husband.
How To Write A Blog Post When You Have Nothing In Particular To Write About
1. Make some tea.
2. Have a bowl of ice cream.
3. Turn on the computer.
4. Check your email.
5. Check to see whether your penis needs to be enlarged. (It doesn’t.)
6. Click on the bookmark for your blog.
7. Check for new comments.
8. Read the new comments.
9. Wonder why everyone’s comments are more witty and well-written than your original post.
10. Wonder why Bossy hasn’t commented in a while.
11. Wonder when Wil Wheaton will comment on Lawyer Mama’s blog.
12. Wonder what that itchy spot on your upper thigh is.
13. Have another bowl of ice cream.
14. Open a NEW POST window.
15. Click back to see whether anyone has commented on your blog in the past two minutes. (They haven't.)
16. Stare at screen.
18. Wonder what to write for number 17.
19. Hope your husband comes into the room and says something odd and random.
20. He doesn't.
21. Go find your husband and ask him some odd and random question. (This works especially well if he's on heavy-duty painkillers for his rotten tooth.)
22. Write down his answer verbatim.
23. Find a suitable photo by Googling "odd husband."
24. Hit PUBLISH POST.
25. Congratulate yourself for marrying good blogging material.
As it turns out, meta is a word unto itself, not just when combined with another word.
Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English
|Part of Speech:||adj|
|Definition:||self-referential; referring to itself or its characteristics, esp. as a parody; about|
|Example:||That book is so meta.|
That book is so meta?
That phrase is so pretentious.
I be metablogging. How's that?