NaBloPoMoDay 3: Ugly Sister Smackdown!

Wow.

My sister really came out swinging on this one.

Dang.

I was just walking to the center ring to touch gloves, and WHAM, a left to the old 1970s-in-the-basement-posing-as-rock-stars.

The canvas tastes like shoe, but feels so cool upon my bruised ego.

Alright, alright...I know that a lot of you have money riding on me in this smackdown. I'm getting up...I'm wiping the trickle of sweat from my eye…I'm pulling the contact lens from under my eyelid and readjusting it….

So this is the way it's going to go, huh?

Okay. Okay.

Hey! Look over there! Isn’t that Amy wearing a Captain Middleswarth helmet??



BAM!!!!!!

AWWWW YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!

I SAID, HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?!!!

This picture here would be March 7, 1978 and that would be my Seestor's Confirmation Day. That's the initiation day in the Catholic Church where you don't get to wear a pretty white dress, but you do get a doily on you head and a slap on the face from the Bishop. I think I'm wearing about the right expression for someone sporting Carnaby Street's take on a traditional dirndl dress and white knee socks. My Seestor looks way too happy for someone wearing a doily.

The blonde-haired Lithuanian woman with the arms like ham hocks would be my dear grandmother, God Rest Her Soul.

And hey...don't the expressions on that picture look eerily similar to this picture?


Thank goodness Seconda is mercifully doily-free, and my arms just look like kielbasa, not ham hocks. For now.


Okay...doilies are pretty hard hitting, but I think I must concede that my Seestor won this smackdown. I need to call our mom tonight and instruct her to dig around for some more brawl-worthy photos.

In the meantime, don't forget to mail your questions to TheUglySisters@yahoo.com

Tomorrow is Sisterly Advice Day, and really, many people have paid, and paid dearly for this service that we are offering free during NaBloPoMo month. Take advantage of our combined 537 IQ...wait, I think I added wrong...anyway, take advantage of our insight borne of experience and our bouyant good humor borne of 99 bottles of beer on the wall. You won't regret it.

7 comments:

anne said...

Wha...?


Huh...?


Why you...


Touche', deer sistor.

And you're right...the expressions are waaay too similar. All three of them.

Amy the Mom said...

What an awesome blog idea! I'm so wishing I had access to more of our old family photos, I can just taste the humiliation.

I'm giving this one to your sis-Kiss Army-omg...I'm really laughing out loud, not just LOL.

Becky said...

Those pictures are hilarious. I *so* want a scanner!

Julie Pippert said...

BWAHAHAHAHALMAOBWAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh point to the older one!

And the expressions in the compared photos...pricelessly true!

Julie
Using My Words

Miss Britt said...

You are very brave. I don't show old pictures of myself to my own children.

Anonymous said...

huh... after reading your comment over at momma mia's, I was expecting to find... matching... kinky... bathing... suits.

meow.

CampHillGirl said...

Those expressions are uncannily similar, but that kitchen in the first picture... that was really lovely, picturesque, the kind that my newish-now home will never have.

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