NaBloPoMoDay 30! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Those big hunky kisses are for YOU, Dear Readers!

I couldn't have done it without you all - givin' me the big ole commenty love, cheering me on, not correcting my myriad grammatical mistakes and wholesale slaughtering of Strunk & White with each next paragrpah. That all MEANS something, man. I sincerely mean that.

Also, thank you to my husband who only complained twenty-eight times about my late-night computering.

Nah...I jest!

He was a rock of support, standing by with a neck rub and a glass of Frangelico on ice, and that puppy-dog look that says, "I gave you Frangelico and a neck rub and let you tap-tap-tap at the computer. Now when do Daddy and Mommy get to play Curious George at the Mustang Ranch? I have your yellow hat ready."


This month did not come without its challenges. Sick kids, homework, vomiting, ice skating lessons, vomit, work, sick kids, Girl Scout meetings, puking, birthday parties, puking, Thanksgiving, and...did I mention vomit? I think I did. In fact, my husband made sure to note the other day how proud he was that I had gone twenty-five days before I resorted to blogging about vomit, and even longer before I pulled-out the flatulence jokes. That in and of itself is a major breakthrough in my writing.

But despite the gauntlet that I had to run every day in order to find an hour of time to sit down and write, I did it.

I freakin' did it.

And if you consider that for the previous months I had been struggling to get even two posts thrown onto my blog, well hell...thirty posts in a row is something to hoot about. No offense intended to my sister and her dead raptor.

(Okay...let me post this now. I just got back from work at 11:30 to a lovely bottle of Frangelico on my front porch. I'll be back in a sec with my Geek of the Week.)

And by the way, how cool and funny and an all-around impressive writer is my sister? And keep in mind, that although her kids are bigger and can feed and toilet themselves (for the most part, I'm sure), this woman is working full-time and then coming home to tend horses and dogs and cats and goats and dead owls and tapeworms. Damn. Makes three kids sound easy. And I don't care that she missed one day due to the flu...

I won't tell the Perrier story.

The woman really was very ill. And anyway, I need to keep that in my back pocket as blackmail material for next year.

And so, with my sister in mind, here is my Geek of the Week and final NaBloPoMo Ugly Sister 2007 Awardee.

Uhm.

It would be me.

For reasons which will become immediately apparent.


Madame Jozet: Hey!

Jozet's Seestor: Hey?

Jozet: Hey. It's me. Your sister.

Seestor: Hey!

Jozet: Hey!

Seestor: Hey!

Jozet: Hey, how do you jump start a car?

Seestor: It's easy. Put your key in the ignition....

Jozet: Oh. You need to have the key?

Seestor: Uh...don't you have the key?

Jozet: No. I, uh, have to get to work, but I was getting the van inspected today and took the van keys off my key ring and left the rest of the key ring in the car and then the husband and I switched cars and then he drove off with my keys to the Volkswagen and then I had to get to work but he's not answering his phone and so I thought I'd just push the car down the hill and jump start it.

Seestor: Hmmm. I don't know if it will work without the keys.

Jozet: Hmmm.

Seestor: Hmmm.

Jozet: Hmmm.

Seestor: Say!

Jozet: Say!

Seestor: Say! Do you have a screwdriver? Not a big screwdriver. Something flat, no bigger than about 3/8 inches.

Jozet: Why I happen to have one right here next to the blender!

Seestor: Well, you know, you might be able to turn it in the ignition and start the car.

Jozet: Wow! How did you learn that?

Seestor: That's how someone stole my Corolla.

Jozet: Whoa. Good to know...do you think it will set off the car alarm? You know, if I try to jimmy the ignition with a screwdriver?

Seestor: Hmmm. It might. If you know where the fuse box is and have the owner's manual....

Jozet: What if I just start yanking wires under the dashboard to stop the alarm? I did that once to stop the car horn on my Tempo.

Seestor: That would work, too.

Jozet: Great! They should have a Girl Scout badge for this!

Seestor: So, are you gonna try it?

Jozet: What's the worst that could happen?

Seestor: What's the worst that could happen?

Jozet: So I break the steering column and the car drifts into the neighbor's driveway and into his new BMW and both alarms goes off and I have to yank all the wires and the front end of the Volkswagen catches fire and I'm on the eleven o'clock news?

Seestor: Oh yeah. That could happen.

Jozet: But you know what?

Seestor: It would make a good blog post?

Jozet: Exactly.

Seestor: High five.

-----------------------------------------

And what did happen?

Well, Dear Reader, that's a blog post for another day.

Keep 'em coming back for more, I always say.


And so, on this last day of NaBloPoMo, I bid my daily readers adieu.

I fully intend to post waaaaaay more often than I used to. I'm in the groove, man. More importantly, I've carved out this time and space for myself to write, and I'm not giving it up without some kicking and screaming and pouty faces and threats to hide my yellow hat. Just like Virginia Woolf did it.

And if you don't want to check back here every day, use one of those little RSS feed button thingies to the left and the bottom of the page to get updates when I do post. I don't understand the binary witchery behind those magic buttons, but someone somewhere does, and oh yeah, Google.

xxoo

Love,

Madame Jozet

P.S. Oh, okay. As I was about to completely eff-up the steering column on the VW Golf, my husband finally returned my call, brought home the keys, and saved us from probably thousands of dollars worth of damage. I mean, c'mon...if you want that kind of bloggy reading material, I'm going to have to put ads up to fund my stupidity. :-)

16 comments:

anne said...

High five on the end of NaBloPoMo!

Great job!

Woot! Hoot!

We so rock the blog!


And I'm glad to hear you made it to work. After I got off the phone with you, I was trying to think of what else you might have lying around the house that you could use to start the car. For the record, a barrette does not work well.

slouching mom said...

That photo has scarred me for life.

Professor J said...

I have enjoyed reading you everyday. I hope you continue to post often!

And "Curious George at the Mustang Ranch?" Brilliant.

Mrs. G. said...

I'm going to hold you to your promise to post more than twice a month. That's not going to be enough Jozet to keep me going.

You are a delight to read, and I look forward to many future posts.

Congrats, girl.

preTzel said...

My friend, you and your sister seriously need to co - write a book about your lives. You both are hilarious and brilliant in your writing. I hope you both know that already.

The owl story? I am *so* glad I went potty before reading it *and* the follow up comments.

Again, you're both brilliant. I hope you both continue to plug away at your blogs and write MORE MORE MORE because your fans adore you both!

With much love,

P

Melanie said...

Well done. I'm so glad I found your blog.

Now...be a good little monkey, if you know what I mean.

Audubon Ron said...

Thanks for holding back on the puke fart thing and glad you didn't hot wire the car. That would have raised suspicion with at least this reader as to how you’re actually financing your school. In case you find a red 80’s model Mercedes 450SL in good shape accidentally lying around the streets let me know.

Mustang Ranch. Never heard of it and would have no clue, idea whatsoever that it was a, maybe is by now again, a cat house in Nevada.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Congratulations, Madame. I never would have been able to stick it out so I applaud your efforts.

However, I'll never get the image of "Curious George at the Mustang Ranch" out of my head. Ever.

mothergoosemouse said...

I'm just weeping with gratitude that you're going to keep writing. Maybe not every day, but often. Thank you, Madame Jozet. I needs my regular doses of you.

Dani said...

It was a great month. My sister and I installed a car stereo in her car...all by ourselves! We figured if they had directions we could do it, and we did. Ha.

Congrats for completely a marathon of blogging. Now that you are all "in-shape" I look forward to laughing more in the future.

Chag said...

I think you deserve some sort of special award for your NaBloPoMo prowess. You posted, what, 5,000 words a day for November? Your posts were very impressive.

Theresa said...

You made it! Along with a lot of other bloggers whose blogs I read, and now I'm exhausted just from trying to keep up with them the whole month. I hope you keep posting often (maybe not every day, because we fans just can't keep up), maybe someday you'll explain a bit more about Curious George. Or maybe it's better left to our imaginations. ;)

BOSSY said...

Bossy is sort of happy she doesn't have to see the letters n-a-b-l-o-p-o-m-o for another year.

Mary Alice said...

Oh baby you had me at Frangelico...

Mac and Cheese said...

So glad it's over. I'm just catching up on all the blogs as I became a little focused on my own for 30 days. It's good to be free!

lildb said...

hot damn.

you're good at the whole "resolution" thing, aren't you. it's like you took lessons or somethin'.

*shivers with joy at the thought of regular Jozet posts*

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