iRockstar

This meme is great fun.

It's like that game you used to play when you were about fifteen years old.

You know that game where it's Saturday afternoon and you're all sitting around in your friend Brian's basement drinking A-Treat cola and eating pretzels from a red plastic basket that Brian's mom lined with a paper towel, and you're listening to this other kid Darren's newest record album of rare, remixed bootleg T. Rex demos (number 3,424 in a series) and there's this other kid who's a few years older than the rest of you and that everyone knows only as "Skunk", and Skunk is sprawled out on a broken orange recliner in the corner, jamming along on an electric guitar that Brian's grandmother bought Brian four years ago for Christmas but that Brian never learned how to play but that Skunk is very excellently wailing on, and halfway through 20th Century Boy Darren gets up to smoke one of Brian's mom's Marlboros near an open window, and after a long drag, he meaningfully points the cigarette toward Skunk and proclaims, "Dude, we should totally get a rock group together," and everyone agrees that, ain't yo, we should totally get a rock group together, and that the first most important step toward getting a rock group together - the most kick-ass group in the entire county that would just blow the heads off everyone at the local firehall block parties - the most pressing matter at hand is not deciding where to practice or who's going to learn to play drums and who's going to get a summer job and buy an amp because Brain's grandmother said that she wouldn't buy Brain any more music equipment until he got a haircut ("No way, dudes. No way am I cutting my hair.") -

No.

As everyone knows, if you're going to start a rock group, the absolute first thing you have to do is come up with a frickin' awesome band name.

And then decide what your first album will be called.

And then fantasize about the groupies.

(By the way, how did you like that first paragraph? William Faulkner, eat your heart out.)


Now, with this amazing meme, you can relive the caffeine-high thrills and mock-creative rush of this childhood game of yesteryear, but in a new and improved version that's been simplified, sanitized, and updated for the computer tech era. No more do you need to spend entire afternoons in your neighbor's dank basement inhaling toxic mixtures of mold and second-hand smoke and risking a contact high from Skunk's flannel shirt and Brian's mom's Country Meadow solid room deodorizer by Glade.

With this exciting meme, you can just point, click, paste and presto! You're on your way to slacker dream stardom the iWay.

Here's how you do it (directions courtesy of the fantabulous Professor J.):

1. Click on this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Click on this link: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Finally, click on this link: http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.


You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your pic.

Frickin' AWESOME!

And it was so simple, I did it three times.


My first band's first album.















Highly acclaimed by critics in Europe, Dinwoody Glacier's first album, much about the problem, languished in American charts until mid-summer when the break-out punk-polka track"Ten Dead Pole Cats" set the beat as background music in a Volkswagen Golf commercial.

From Rolling Stone magazine:
"Dinwoody Glacier's energetic fusion of fast, hard guitar and thumping hot accordion is the next great thing to have you shouting "E-I-E-I-E-I-O" and crazy-mad two-stepping in the Polka Joyland mosh pit. Like your Aunt Agnes after too many Four Roses highballs, front woman Madame Jozet is a non-stop dervish, pumping the bellows and punching out rapid-fire lyrics in a frenzied wall-of-sound not heard since the days of Stanky and the Coal Miners."
(Damn, I was good.)

Dinwoody Glacier broke up suddenly after drummer Johnnie "Elbows" McGloughlin sold his drum kit to pay for a tuxedo rental for his sister's wedding.

The remaining members of the band later regrouped for what is widely considered to be the "The Glacier's" sophomore effort, Those Whom We Admire. However, even though the band line-up was intact except for the loss of McGloughlin, and even though the entire album consisted of gospel covers of every single song on the first album, most die hard fans don't recognize the album as a Dinwoody Glacier project because an important defining characteristic of the band - the frickin' awesome name - had been changed.

My first/second band's second/first album











Lancaster House Agreement's first/second album soared to number one hundred thirty-seven on national charts, with single "God Loves A Yonko" holding a brief reign as number two on WMBT 's Sister Charmaine's Gospel Power Hour out of Shenandoah, Pennsylvania.


The Solo Album

With a nod from the Schuylkill County Grammy Awards and a fan letter from some guy living in a hunting cabin up near Wellsboro, fame and delusions of marketable talent conspired to break-up the band once again, this time for good. Around this time, Madame Jozet met underground poetry slam guru, Juju Tulkinghorn, at a local Dairy Queen where Juju was in charge of the custard machine. Juju's influence over Jozet was total, and shortly after their meeting, Jozet put down the accordion entirely and entered what is artistically considered to be her "completely sucky" period. Jozet subsequently changed her name, and her first and only solo effort was the eponymous album, Palanga, a predominantly spoken word recording interspersed with some ham bone, the sound of marbles dropping, and random humming.



















After she was booed off stage at a community college charity auction and almost set on fire in the parking lot by an associate English professor, Madame Jozet gave up her music career once and for all, thank the lord, and slipped into quiet obscurity in suburban Central Pennsylvania (where slipping into quiet obscurity is practically a religion.)

Once in a while she spends a day sitting by the telephone waiting for the producer of VH1's "Where Are They Now?" to call. But mostly, she just tends to her lawn and occasionally fiddles with the marvelous Name Your Rock Band Meme, clicking-up up frickin' awesome band names and designing album covers that are totally, totally cool.

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Wow!

That was fun!

I wasted an entire evening typing that up.

(Thanks, Professor J!)

Now, why not try it yourself? You know you want to! C'mon...how many times this week have you heard some unique string of words and phrases and said, "Hey! That would be a great name for a rock group!"

Next thing you knew, you were in the Good Will scoping out secondhand spandex pants and striking pouty paparazzi poses with your toothbrush-microphone.

What's your rock band album?

Post your links...if you dare!

I just know that you're totally frickin' AWESOME! Too!

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Gogol Bordello cites Dinwoody Glacier as an early influence.


25 comments:

anne said...

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee.

You know, Brian must have had some big influence on us as we have both mentioned him in the blogs now.

By the way, I managed to score an import copy of much about the problem on ebay. And I only had to pay $239! Sweet deal!

Mrs. Chicky said...

I think I still have my ripped jeans and a concert t-shirt somewhere. I just need the bandana and this meme and I'm ready to rock.

Katie Alender said...

OMG, I could do this all day.

Mamma said...

Watch out kids, mamma's got a band name all ready for the next round of Rock Band.

Shawn said...

Holy cow ... that is awesome. I am not sure I'd have the time for it, but that is fun!

Melanie said...

I suspect that my band, Saskatchewan Canada, and our first album, "About Its Width and Depth", are not going to be huge. I'm pretty sure we're descriptive geography soft rock.

On the upside, we have lots of beer and socialized medicine on our contract rider.

skiplovey said...

But I promised the children I'd never pick up the guitar again...
Hilarious! Seriously Dinwoody Glacier needs a reunion tour.

Becky said...

So fun... my band, "Hawkins County Courthouse" had a short run with only two albums, but that's not bad when it comes to imaginary experiences. ;)

we_be_toys said...

Hilarious! I saw this meme over at Puntabulus, I think, but I haven't seen anyone take it as far as you, Mdme Jozette.
Dinwoody Glacier Rocks!!(holding up lighter)

PeetsMom said...

Oh - this was FUN!!! I had to play - thanks for sharing! here's my link:

http://coffeeteasodapoppeets.blogspot.com/2008/01/iplay.html

PeetsMom said...

I don't think worked - try this!

iRockstar

Hope that works!

ewe are here said...

Brilliant Meme. I'm definitely going to give it a go this week.

Ms. Huis Herself said...

That is like the most fun meme EVER!

Here are my offerings, soon to be played by college radio djs everywhere... http://musenmutter.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-band-meme.html

Ms. Huis Herself said...

Let's try that link again...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

There's doing the meme and then DOING THE MEME. And you certainly DID THE MEME.

I don't know if I can ever get the liner notes for Governor's Squares inaguaral album, Sit Back and Wait, to approach what you've come up with!

S.T. said...

hahahaha! That IS totally freaking awesome! I did one too! Check it out! http://mamatsmusings.blogspot.com/2008/01/so-you-want-be-rock-n-roll-star.html

I was in an all-girl rock band in high school (I played bass) and we had the name of our band figured out before any of us even knew how to play our instruments! lol

lildb said...

*bows in humble worship at the altar of Jozet du chateau Halushki, er Palanga*

Professor J said...

You rocked this Meme (which I recently learned is pronounced "meem." I want to write like you do, Jozet!

Peggy Sez.. said...

I came ..I saw..I meme'ed (?)..Come to my house to see. ;p

Theresa said...

Cool! I ran across this meme at Frogster's blog the other day too, so maybe it's a sign. Yep, I'm sure it's a sign...I guess now I'll have to do it too. But, first I have to get some stuff from my 3D life sorted out. Boy, you're a tough act to follow...I don't know if I can come up with something nearly as brilliant.

Big Gav said...

That was pretty fun - nice idea...

Redneck Mommy said...

My husband says I still rock the big band hair of the 80's so this meme was made for me...LOL.

Magpie said...

Totally great meme. I love it.

cuz e said...

I feel like your making fun of me.

Nice video of Eugene and Yuri, I worked with them on the Everything is Illuminated soundtrack.

Jozet at Halushki said...

Ernie!!!!!! You know Eugene! Can I touch you!?!?!?!

Hey, Gogol Bordello is playing in Philly in March. Anyone want to go see them with me?

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