I'll explain all this in a minute, but for the time being, I need to welcome the entire readership of the Harrisburg Patriot News.
Well, okay, maybe not the entire readership, but those few thousand people...
All right, a bunch of yous guys who are wandering in, checking the place out, wondering what's all the hub-bub about Mommy Bloggers.
Find a seat!
Uhm, careful on that one...the baby just learned how to use a screwdriver and is taking all the arms off the dining room chairs. I can't vouch for safety of the legs, either, but my homeowner's insurance is paid-up, so we got yer back on any broken...backs.
And just step over the Legos on the floor.
And the slice of toast.
I swear, my imaginary cleaning lady is usually here every Saturday, but this weekend I was busy imagining a vacation in Cuacao with my cabana boy, Hans, so I didn't have time to imagine a tidy house.
Welcome to my blog!
Yes, I am a Mommy Blogger insofar as I'm a mommy who blogs. That would be "blog" as a verb, which should be a first immediate hint that it's pretty much the wild west here as far as wholesale slaughtering of the English language. However, never fear! I do possess a degree in English, so I pretty much (should) know what I'm doing as far as making-up words, using creative spelling, and...uh...utilizing festive...grammar and...syntactical...thingies.
What I do at this here blog is write about, basically, whatever strikes my fancy.
A lot of it is about my kids. (Click on the colored words/links to view other posts.)
Some of it is about my husband.
Much of it is about me and my need to down a 2-pound bar of chocolate and a gin and tonic every evening.
And I would need to do that because I have kids. And a husband.
Heh...just kidding about the gin and tonic.
(Gotta be careful about what I write, now that I've been "outted". My kids' teachers will never look at me the same way. I swear I don't smell like lime and juniper berries. And to further prove that I so rule as a mom, look at these sweet posts about my gorgeous daughters. And there's a whole blog for the boy. Awwww! Aren't I the best?)
So, to start you off and give you a taste of josetteplank.com, you may want to take a gander at some of the following posts.
Here is something I wrote that is lovingly referred to as The Bat Post.
Click on this link here:
The Bat Post
It's been over a year since this incident, and my gynecologist/obstetrician still calls me The Bat Lady. Which lost its charm after the second time she called me The Bat Lady, but it is still kind of funny to freak out the pregnant women in the waiting room with our witty repartee about "foaming at the mouth" and "sleeping upside-down ". Makes them wonder if they missed reading a chapter in What To Expect When You're Expecting.
For helpful parenting
And here's my erudite wisdom on how to handle picky-eaters:
My Daughter Only Eats Pop Tarts
If you're newly pregnant, then this post is where you want to begin freaking out...I mean, this is where you learn how to freak out the Zen way:
The Epic Post Is Not About Bats
And if you know someone who is newly pregnant, then you may want to brush up on
What Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman
and then take notes on how to batten down hormonal hatches here:
Guess I'll Go Eat Worms
See how helpful I am?
However, here at Chateau Josette, we are so much more than a uterus and nine years of changing diapers.
Why lookee here! Delicious cooking recipes!
Eggplant, Oh Eggplant!
One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Bluefish
Visitors' Guide To Pennsylvania!
Come For The Cheesesteaks, Stay For The Potholes
Where to purchase the best homegrown in the state!
Home improvement tips!
And my script for an upcoming television show about all the wacky things that happen when a retail worker regularly comes in contact with a public hopped-up on one too many double-espresso lattes.
Welcome To Planet Earth
So have a look around! Check out the links on the sidebar to the left to view my archived posts and to meet some of my favorite bloggers from Mommyblogdom and beyond. Take a peek at my sister's blog about raising goats and living in an icebox.
And thanks for stopping by!
Feel free to bookmark me and to visit often.
I'm so much cheaper than cable television, and no annoying commercials for diets and hair removal products.
Because if nothing else, this blog is about body hair and lots of chocolate.
Uh...I mean, humor and parenting!
(And lots of chocolate.)
Much thanks to the amazing and talented Ms. Shawn of Letters To my Daughters for her write-up in the Patriot. I'd never been interviewed before, and Shawn caught me after a long night of cranky, sleepless, teething baby, and honestly, I have only the vaguest recollection of our conversation. I do remember mumbling something about needing a caffeine IV, and that's it. Thank you for your graceful way with words and for making me sounds coherent and awesome. I do, in fact, have my Mommy game on, but I do sometimes have trouble with the spoken language. All those double-consonants trip me up.
And on this, the near 3 Year Anniversary of this blog, I'd like to especially thank my fabulous and wonderful, long-suffering husband. Without him, I'd never be able to fix my broken Internet connections, but - more importantly - I would never be able to find the time to write. He does dishes, folks. And he gets up with children in the middle of the night, which also happens to be one of the only times I do have to write. He even brings me coffee in bed.
And he lets me use him as blogging material. It's not every spouse who'd allow himself to be the punchline of a good public teasing. He's a great sport and my personal patron of the arts. He deserves more smooches than I give him.
Or than he actually wants.
Because, damn, my coffee breath is the worst.