WELCOME PATRIOT READERS! Yes, this is the place!

natalie dee


I'll explain all this in a minute, but for the time being, I need to welcome the entire readership of the Harrisburg Patriot News.

Well, okay, maybe not the entire readership, but those few thousand people...

hundred people?

All right, a bunch of yous guys who are wandering in, checking the place out, wondering what's all the hub-bub about Mommy Bloggers.

C'mon in!

Find a seat!

Uhm, careful on that one...the baby just learned how to use a screwdriver and is taking all the arms off the dining room chairs. I can't vouch for safety of the legs, either, but my homeowner's insurance is paid-up, so we got yer back on any broken...backs.

And just step over the Legos on the floor.

And the slice of toast.

I swear, my imaginary cleaning lady is usually here every Saturday, but this weekend I was busy imagining a vacation in Cuacao with my cabana boy, Hans, so I didn't have time to imagine a tidy house.


So hey!

Welcome to my blog!

Yes, I am a Mommy Blogger insofar as I'm a mommy who blogs. That would be "blog" as a verb, which should be a first immediate hint that it's pretty much the wild west here as far as wholesale slaughtering of the English language. However, never fear! I do possess a degree in English, so I pretty much (should) know what I'm doing as far as making-up words, using creative spelling, and...uh...utilizing festive...grammar and...syntactical...thingies.

What I do at this here blog is write about, basically, whatever strikes my fancy.

A lot of it is about my kids. (Click on the colored words/links to view other posts.)

Some of it is about my husband.

Much of it is about me and my need to down a 2-pound bar of chocolate and a gin and tonic every evening.

And I would need to do that because I have kids. And a husband.

Heh...just kidding about the gin and tonic.

(Gotta be careful about what I write, now that I've been "outted". My kids' teachers will never look at me the same way. I swear I don't smell like lime and juniper berries. And to further prove that I so rule as a mom, look at these sweet posts about my gorgeous daughters. And there's a whole blog for the boy. Awwww! Aren't I the best?)

So, to start you off and give you a taste of josetteplank.com, you may want to take a gander at some of the following posts.

Here is something I wrote that is lovingly referred to as The Bat Post.

Click on this link here:

The Bat Post

It's been over a year since this incident, and my gynecologist/obstetrician still calls me The Bat Lady. Which lost its charm after the second time she called me The Bat Lady, but it is still kind of funny to freak out the pregnant women in the waiting room with our witty repartee about "foaming at the mouth" and "sleeping upside-down ". Makes them wonder if they missed reading a chapter in What To Expect When You're Expecting.

For helpful parenting assvice advice, you just must read this post on baby-proofing:

Parent Hack

And here's my erudite wisdom on how to handle picky-eaters:

My Daughter Only Eats Pop Tarts

If you're newly pregnant, then this post is where you want to begin freaking out...I mean, this is where you learn how to freak out the Zen way:

The Epic Post Is Not About Bats

And if you know someone who is newly pregnant, then you may want to brush up on

What Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

and then take notes on how to batten down hormonal hatches here:

Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

See how helpful I am?

You're welcome!

However, here at Chateau Josette, we are so much more than a uterus and nine years of changing diapers.

Why lookee here! Delicious cooking recipes!

Eggplant, Oh Eggplant!

Pet care!

One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Bluefish

Visitors' Guide To Pennsylvania!

Come For The Cheesesteaks, Stay For The Potholes

Where to purchase the best homegrown in the state!


Home improvement tips!

Mission Accomplished

And my script for an upcoming television show about all the wacky things that happen when a retail worker regularly comes in contact with a public hopped-up on one too many double-espresso lattes.

Welcome To Planet Earth

So have a look around! Check out the links on the sidebar to the left to view my archived posts and to meet some of my favorite bloggers from Mommyblogdom and beyond. Take a peek at my sister's blog about raising goats and living in an icebox.

And thanks for stopping by!

Feel free to bookmark me and to visit often.

I'm so much cheaper than cable television, and no annoying commercials for diets and hair removal products.

Because if nothing else, this blog is about body hair and lots of chocolate.

Uh...I mean, humor and parenting!

(And lots of chocolate.)


Much thanks to the amazing and talented Ms. Shawn of Letters To my Daughters for her write-up in the Patriot. I'd never been interviewed before, and Shawn caught me after a long night of cranky, sleepless, teething baby, and honestly, I have only the vaguest recollection of our conversation. I do remember mumbling something about needing a caffeine IV, and that's it. Thank you for your graceful way with words and for making me sounds coherent and awesome. I do, in fact, have my Mommy game on, but I do sometimes have trouble with the spoken language. All those double-consonants trip me up.


And on this, the near 3 Year Anniversary of this blog, I'd like to especially thank my fabulous and wonderful, long-suffering husband. Without him, I'd never be able to fix my broken Internet connections, but - more importantly - I would never be able to find the time to write. He does dishes, folks. And he gets up with children in the middle of the night, which also happens to be one of the only times I do have to write. He even brings me coffee in bed.

And he lets me use him as blogging material. It's not every spouse who'd allow himself to be the punchline of a good public teasing. He's a great sport and my personal patron of the arts. He deserves more smooches than I give him.

Or than he actually wants.

Because, damn, my coffee breath is the worst.


Amie Adams said...

My kids have no idea yet how much they're going to learn to hate that I'm a blogger.

Kath said...

You have arrived! It was wonderful to open the paper this morning and see the big Mommy Blogger story with your name in print right there on the front page of the section. And the book-club friends even got an honorable mention (so we could all turn to our families and say - that's me! that's me!) I hope all your new readers derive as much pleasure from your musings as we have over the years! Congratulations!

anne said...

Hey you! You Big Time Star, You!


Make sure you send a copy of the paper to mom so she can put it on the fridge.

Mrs4444 said...

Congrats on 3 years!!!

Carey said...

Congrats! We will have to meet for coffee to celebrate!

and congrats on your 3 year anniversary!

Anonymous said...

Ha, I love the idea of festive grammar!

Anne B. said...

*waving hello from The Pump Room* in Harrisburg! Nice to see you in the paper! :-)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I read the paper today. Well, the Sunday section anyway... Love your blog! Of course, what's not to love about halushki and pierogies? Riotous goodness. Keep blogging.

Peggy Sez.. said...

I would have read you anyways..;p


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You're famous!

Can I just say you're cartoon headline is sheer genius?

josetteplank.com said...


That cartoon is perfect, isn't it, lol!

It's actually by nataliedee at her .com

Her cartoons are hilarious. Twisted and irreverent but hilarious.

Shawn said...

Thanks for letting me know that published ... ; )

Hope many good things come your way in this fourth year.

Thanks for being so coherent on a not-so-coherent day. It worked out nicely.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Please, new readers, click on the bat post. I beg you.

Congrats on your new gig and your anniversary!

Variations On A Theme said...

Oh my! I've only read the first four back posts, but as soon as I get the kids to bed, I'll be back. I LOVED your bat post. Are you writing a book by chance?

S said...

you're famous! can i say i knew you when?

Anonymous said...

My kids are damned lucky that I wasn't blogging during some of the more frustrating eras of parenting. Not that it's all smooth sailing now, because it's not. But still...

Paula Lynn Johnson said...

I'm an English major, too! It's really come in handy for . . . uh . . . blogging.

And my cabana boy is Arturo.

Krista said...

I am new to the site and I LOVE it! So glad of the mention of your blog in the Patriot News article. I'm hooked already!
Your sense of humor is right up my alley! Thanks

Karen Jensen said...

You're a star! Just remember your fans of long standing (we the little people).

Julie Marsh said...

Seconding Mrs. Chicky on the fabulousness of the bat post...well, on the the fabulousness of everything that Madame Jozet writes.

And how cool that Shawn wrote the story! I swear, we mommy bloggers are poised to take over the world.

Natalie said...

I often wonder how many other bloggers are in the Hbg area, especially mommy bloggers. Looks like I know at least one more! Looking forward to getting to know you better through your blog.

Anonymous said...

Tell your husband that I have blogging* to do also, and we have dirty dishes, too. We'll be expecting him around 7.

*sometimes blogging looks a lot like playing on the XBox, but really, it's how I do it.

nadzent said...

Congratulations on the fame! Now comes the fortune........

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