Your Mother Is One

I am now one of those people.

I just caught myself Googling the following search phrase:

"Cookie Montser's Mother What The Hell"

So if it turns up on your site meter stats...that was me.

But, but, but!

This all started while we were at Sesame Place when my oldest child told me out of the blue that she didn't like Cookie Monster's mom.

Frankly, I didn't even know Cookie Monster had a mom - well, not that he didn't have a mom, but I didn't know that Jim Henson had actually fashioned an on-screen representation of her. I mean, I know that he has a biological mom....

Anyway.

So, this piece of news about my daughter's dislike of a Muppet knocked me off balance a bit.

Who actively doesn't like a Muppet? I can understand feeling more or less apathetic toward a certain foam rubber personality - sue me, but I could take or leave Gonzo - and on the opposite end of the emotional continuum, I could empathize with feeling kindly towards or even warm regard for a particular character (I heart Beaker!) And who here among us at one time or another has not identified with Kermit The Frog - the Everyman, the Bob Newhart of the Muppet World.

(Do you realize that I have just cornered the on-line search market on "Bob Newhart of the Muppet World"? Score!)

And good lord, lets not forget the most famous of all red furry monsters. I know entire preschool classes that have sworn oaths of fealty to him. This guy had it sooooooooo close.

But to dislike a lovable, furry-old childhood friend's mom? What kind of person has the insolence to say "I don't like your mom"? Pffft...I bet she wouldn't say it to Cookie Monster's face. Wimp.

So, when I asked her from whence the bad vibes, she told me in tones of great and serious import:

"Mommy...Cookie Monster's mom said a bad word."

Get the frick outta here!

"Honey, what bad word did Cookie Monster's mom say?"

"She said the H word."

"Heck?"

"No"

"Halitosis?"

"No."

"Herbert Walker?"

"NO."

"So what word did she say? You can tell Mommy. I mean, if Sesame Place is running Y-7 programming I need to know. We don't want little brother to learn any bad words, right?"

"Uhhh. Welllll. Cookie Monster's mom said...hell."

(stifled giggling)

(from me)

"Are you sure she said...hell."

"Yes. She did. Cookie Monster's mom was telling Cookie Monster that he couldn't eat a cookie before dinner, but then she wanted to eat the cookie before dinner, so she said 'What the...hell'...and then she ate the cookie."

"Are you sure she didn't say 'heck'?"

"No! She said...hell."

And because my daughter seemed so genuinely offended in her sensibilities, I believed her.

Sort of.

This is also the child who can walk into a room looking for her shoes, trip over them, have one bounce off her head, and then walk back out of the room and say - in all sincerity - "Nope. Not in there." In other words, she takes after her mother.

Cookie Monster's mom really didn't say...hell...did she?

And so the Googling.

Because if it isn't documented on the Internet, it didn't happen.

--------------

Ah HA!

The infamous Letter of the Day bit.

B. Is for Bad Ass.

Time to get out the Q-tips and the water gun and clean me some ears.

32 comments:

moo said...

I'm pretty sure I saw that episode just the other day ... and I'm pretty sure she says, "Oh, what the HAY" and then eats the cookie.

But lord, I dunno. Maybe kids have better ears than parents.

(For the record, it's Papa Bear on Sesame Street who squicks me out.)

Jozet at Halushki said...

Yes, it is in fact "Oh, what the hey!"

And now that you mention it, it's actually Baby Bear who squicks me out. ("Squicks"...lol! I like that.)

Peggy Sez.. said...

Perhaps your daughter accidently caught an episode of the redneck trailor park version of Sesame Street...Cannabis Court.
They eat a LOT of cookies down there...;P

Black Hockey Jesus said...

What the fuck is your issue with Gonzo!?!

Jozet at Halushki said...

"What the fuck is your issue with Gonzo!?!"

He's an agitator.

He...provokes me.

Krista said...

I agree about Gonzo. No one knows what the hell is really is anyhow and he looks like a buzzard. I

I HEART Beaker as well...hands down my favorite muppet (mee-mi-mee-mi-mee) Now the scientist dude that Beaker assisted (remember the green guy with the glasses and no eyes?). HE "squicked" me out (to steal Moo's quip)!!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm cracking up that you all know so much about Sesame Street. Then again, I'm sure I could school you with my knowledge of MTV's Sweet Sixteen!

mothergoosemouse said...

There are several Muppets I actively dislike. Let's see...Gonzo, Grover, the whole damn Bear family. And Big Bird? For the love of god, STOP WHINING!

Obviously I am not only a lousy mother, I must be a terrible person in general to hate all of these Muppets.

But Cookie Monster's mom? Dropping an H-bomb? I think she might just be my favorite now.

Anonymous said...

I've heard Cookie Monster using "What the hey" (Christmas Eve on Sesame Street)...he obviously got it from his mother.
I love the Muppets. I have them on DVD. My fav as a child was Cookie Monster. As a teen it was Beaker. Now? Rolf the dog. He's as human and witty as it gets.
For Krista: The doctor's name is Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

Krista said...

YES! Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Creepy. Wow Anonymous, I'm impressed with your muppet prowess! :) Thanks.

PeetsMom said...

Oh that is SO funny!

Black Hockey Jesus said...

O MY GOD IS THIS HALUSHKI OR THE ANTI-GONZO ALLIANCE? I PRESSED CAPS LOCK FOR THIS ONE. GONZO HAS A SHOCKINGLY HUGE HEART FOR A MUPPET, HE CAN SING HIS ASS OFF, AND HIS NOSE IS THE KING OF ALL MUPPET NOSES. I HOPE THIS IS AN ANTI-GONZO NIGHTMARE FROM WHICH I SOON WAKE. WHO KNEW THERE WERE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T DIG GONZO? I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE SO DOWN AFTER OUR BRADY BUNCH OLIVER CONNECTION, AND THEN YOU GO AND BANG ON GONZO?!? EVEN HIS NAME IS FUN TO SAY. GONZO. SAY IT OUT LOUD. JUST SAYING GONZO MAKES YOU AUTOMATICALLY HAPPY. GONZO GONZO GONZO.

Jozet at Halushki said...

Black Hockey Jesus,

I can hear your anger and disappointment with my attitude toward Gonzo, and I can empathize. It wasn't so long ago that I found myself in an uptown bar defending Tinky Winky as being the most open-minded and progressive of all the Teletubbies, qualities for which he?...she?...it...should be admired, and yet finding that no, it was me against a crowd of Po-lovers - another in a long line of beloved red...things... - and although I do extend props to Po for learning Cantonese, in the end I have to be true in admitting that Po just doesn't for it for me.

And this is how it is with Gonzo. First, he in no way pays tribute to his journalistic moniker either in essence or in hallucinogenic consumption; second, he's been carnal with a chicken; and, third, his nose does not look "happy" to see me (if you get my drift, and I think you do.)

So you can lock caps all you want and minimize the beautiful and unifying nature of our once Oliver connection, but it won't change my mind.

I don't dislike Gonzo; he just doesn't do it for me. And from the looks of his droopy "proboscis", I don't do it for him, either.

I hope that we can agree to disagree on this and move forward in unity and toward a blogosphere intent on changing hope for the betterment of all.

Thank you. God Bless America.

apathy lounge said...

Cookie Monster's mother cussing? Say it's not so! Next you'll tell me the Count's rolling a spleef with Elmo.

preTzel said...

I *heart* Fozzie. He was so much better than all of the other muppets.

LONG LIVE FOZZIE!!

Manic Mommy said...

If you were to google "Elmo using the F word", I'm pretty sure you'd come up with a few dozen hits.

I too hate the whole Bear family. What's up with Baby Bear mispronouncing everything, on an educational show?

anne said...

I liked The Beetles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXzoEYICKzk

But my absolute all time favorites were the aliens.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4VNMERVsC4

Heidi said...

Sesame Street
Yay: those alien guys "Yep, yep, yep" (evidently, they're the "Yip Yips" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yip-Yips), Prairie Dawn (even as a kid I marveled at her patience and perseverance), Roosevelt Franklin, Kermit (especially in reporter mode), Bert, Count von Count, Guy Smiley and Don Music

Nay: Snuffleupagus, now that everyone can see him; the Bear Family, and frequently ... Elmo (I know, there must be something wrong with me)


Muppet Show
Yay: Beaker, Janice, Sam the Eagle

Nay: Miss Piggy. Just get over yourself already (though, I am impressed by Frank Oz).

Also rans (in the Muppet world) ... mostly love the Fraggles, and adore Bear (of the Big Blue House)

Jozet at Halushki said...

Yes! Love the beetles and the aliens.

But this is my absolute favorite of all Sesame Street bits

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24enegT7T7s

It was like emo for preschoolers. I still get all choked up watching it.

(If that link doesn't work, it's currently linked on my sidebar Videos I Dig.)

Anonymous said...

(the Anonymous from above) Oh, I nearly forgot about the lowercase n. I LOVE the purple conkers!! I adored the Yip Yips and Don Music, although he did scare me a bit with his emotional outbursts. Of whom was he a parody? I feel like I should know...
Back to Muppets: I also dig Zoot and Statler & Waldorf. And Swedish Chef (Eeebor shkeebie doong a dishka do...bork bork bork! TOSS!)I still have trouble adjusting to the voice(s) that have taken over Jim's. Seriously, those muppet people are GENIOUSES in creating witty education and entertainment which ALL ages can enjoy. I know many people who won't give Muppets a chance. Muppophobia? Antimuppetism? As Sam would say, it's uncivilized.

Michelle said...

I just have to say that I heat Beaker too. When I met my husband and he showed me his basic traing picture, he looked just like Beaker, neck same with as head, adn a shock of red hair.
Hm...just make my heart go pitter patter!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

My nickname in college was Beaker. The Muppet, not the science lab item.

I love how your hells are all teeny tiny, as she said them under her breath.

Jess Riley said...

Did you know my grandfather's name is Herbert Walker? I dedicated my book to him.

(I'll be over here, laughing my proverbial ass off.)

Also, one of the business managers I worked with sounds EXACTLY like a muppet. He retired a few years ago, but I swear...you'd have thought Jim Henson was being channeled.

Anonymous said...

Me again.
I have a poseable Beaker figure that came with a mock-up of Muppet Labs. Seriously. I got it at Suncoast Video.
And, oddly, my boyfriend in High School attained the nickname "Beaker" for his similar appearance. He didn't go to basic training though, so we haven't connected on that level, Michelle!

Kelly said...

I once had a horrible dream about Gonzo as a serial killer. Can't you envision it?

Also, I heart Beaker too.

kgirl said...

Cookie Monster's mother better watch herself. And I didn't know that I could dislike a muppet until Elmo came along. I'm so glad that my childhood did not include him. Now, how do I keep him out of my children's childhood?

Black Hockey Jesus said...

I just dropped by to tell you I was beginning to heal and then that Kelly bitch is talking smack about Gonzo being a serial killer?!?

This is bullshit.

The Muppets are simply off limits between us. Period. Don't even bring up Fraggle Rock, either. Fraggle Rock saved my life, Halushki.

the new girl said...

Oh, AWESOME.

the new girl said...

And these comments are just as funny as the post.

BHJ, where have you been all my life?

Sprite's Keeper said...

Um, hello? Grover? Did anyone consider Grover? He could totally kick Gonzo's ass!
(By the way, my daughter is infatuated with Elmo, however the fact that Elmo talks about himself in the third person is a little unsettling for me, and Elmo's dad on the Potty Time DVD? Does anyone think "pedophile" with some of the things he says?)

LiteralDan said...

Oh man, why, why did I miss out on this conversation.

Leave it to BHJ to point out the awesome, as usual, while also making sure I feel a bit sadder about myself after realizing my shortcomings, also as usual.

Fred_W said...

I just saw this episode today with my daughter and I was shocked to hear what cookie monster's mother said. I rewinded it several time on the DVR, and it surely sounds like she said, "what the hell" before eating the cookie. My wife said that she said "what the hey!", but I disagree. I was so determined to prove my point, I put in a search on the web to see if anyone else had heard this, and sure enough, I found this blog. It took me off guard, I must admit, but Sesame Street will always be a favorite for us.

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