Hello Derfwads!

Welcome and welcome and hail ye of the blogosphere!

This is Halushki.

I am Jozet.

And Mrs. G is the epitome of fabulosity for spreading such bloggity love around each week.

Now, it's about 11:43 PM here in Pennsylvania, and I'm just dragging my sorry carcass home from work and the grocery store. Work is near the grocery store, so I finish work, then go to the grocery store. I don't work at the grocery store, although I did apply there once. Evidently, they didn't need anyone to wear a giant cheese costume and walk around the store. Which is what I suggested as a possible job based upon my resume and talents.


Make yourself at home!

Take a look around!

Can I suggest the links in the top right corner? The Bat Post seems to get an especially good response. The cool kids like it.

And, uhm...OH! Here's one where I reveal a lie about myself. Along with a few truths that people thought were lies. It's a good way to get to know me and really see what you're getting into as a reader here. Think of it as a Halushki hazing of sorts. You need to be able to read on your toes and not be afraid of shifting from Mechanical Venus Fly Traps to hookers to a rip off of T. S. Eliot all on the fly, speeding uphill at 85 miles an hour with an Arby's jamocha shake balanced between your knees.

Some of the other characters you may meet here are my kids: Prima, age 9; Seconda, age 7; and Terzo, age almost 2. Although, Prima recently let me know that she wanted to henceforth proof and edit any of my future references to her in my blog because, like, she now has her own blog and wants proprietary control of her online persona. I told her to get her lawyer in contact with my lawyer and we'd wrestle over the details with me retaining ownership of the name "Prima" and her promising to not write anything embarrassing about me.

To which she answered, "Pshhhhyah? Just you wait."

I'm so using her college fund to Botox my frown lines.

Then there's my husband.

And my seestor.

And her goats.

And we've recently added a hobo.

Just your typical suburban American family.

Alright then. I need to get to sleep now before I really start rambling. I can ramble, oh boy, can I ramble.

Thank you for stopping by and I hope you find something here that you enjoy. I'm okay, I promise.

I'm a Girl Scout Leader.


Thank you again, Mrs. G. You are gracious and kind without bounds and a genuinely amazing person. They should clone you first and often. Your derfwadness is the best thing to happen to me - to a lot of us - all year.


Night night, all!


shrink on the couch said...

Why, I'm speechless, your tribute to BHJ is too funny for words! Loved your slow cook.

JCK said...

You are delightful and witty. All that Mrs. G indicated. She's the best, our Mrs. G.

Can't wait to check out some of your posts.

P.S. Original said...

Love your blog, look forward to reading more!

Suburban Correspondent said...

Glad to meet you! I think...

debra said...

Another irreverent soul...
And another red-headed complected person----or as my #2 daughter said at the St Patrick's Day parade: "Hey--everyone here looks like me!"
Another quote from my summer swimmer:
"I'm not albino. I'm British!"

Anonymous said...

I'm new here - but I like it, I like it a LOT.

mamatulip said...

I love that picture. It sums up my life quite nicely...and yours too, I'm sure.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

Mrs G strikes again & I haven't even had my coffee today.

I loved the post on BHJ; great stuff.

I'll be back, combing through your posts. It's nice to meet you.

*the three finger girl scout salute thing*

Stacy said...

I just read your bit over on Mrs. G's blog and had to pop over to check yours out. Not enough time to read a lot this morning but I'll be back.

You speak to a part of me....the part that was raised and still lives in a SW Pennsylvania town. My house sits 300 above a coal mine.

The big difference in our backgrounds seems to be that I always felt like I was the only kid who WASN'T Polish or Catholic or spelled my name with no vowels but plenty of h's, k's and z's.

anymommy said...

I've been lurking and now I feel all caught up. I actually went through most of the links. I never do that, limited baby-free time. Good stuff!

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

Nice slow cook over there at Mrs G's place.
Do you work at the B&N? I did that gig about 6 years ago. It sucked the life right out of me. I only lasted a year.

And I BOW AT THE FEET of you, as I just read your T.S. Eliotesque piece. Well done.

Karen Jensen said...

I loved your recipe at the manor. Just one question--can I skip mass and have two whiskey and sevens?

Glennis said...

The haluski recipe at Mrs. G's totally won my heart.

Or was it the fact that I was born in Western PA, although I left when I was 3?

In any case, I'm smitten!

Noelle said...

I think I new most of that, but there's nothing like a refresher course!

Janet said...

"...Yuengling beer straight from the kitchen faucet.", gah, how lucky can one chick get??!

San Diego Momma said...

Ok, that video was as funny as a Saturday Night Live skit. Which, for me, is the highest praise.

Then again, I think this is funny:

Man: What's the soup of the day?
Waiter: The soup du jour?
Man: Hmm, yes, yes, that DOES sound good. I'll have it.

But everyone else in the world thinks that video is funny too, so this time, I'm joining the pack.

You have the talent, my friend. And you sing like a nightingale.

Mrs. G. said...

Your T.S. post has always been one of my favorites. Thanks for hosting.

Tracy said...

Here from the Manor...

I LOVE that picture of you and your son! Your t-shirt matches his hair!

Carey said...

Too funny.
Although, I am bummed that the grocery store didn't hire you to wear the giant cheese costume...what were they thinking?

CaraBee said...

Great intro for a new reader! Love the picture!

Cherise said...

Glad to have found your blog - via BHJ via Baby On Board. Thanks for stopping by mine!

Anonymous said...

There's a place for botox savings funds. I'm starting my Restalyn (sp?) fund now. Who needs to retire when you look so young? I'll save for that when I'm 60.

I can ramble, too. Horribly. It's embarrassing. I know that I do it but still I can't stop.

Nice to meet you. :-)

Anonymous said...

Sincere thanks re: your comment on my 'Fro me to you post yesterday.
After reading your posts, your compliments were truly humbling.
Looking forward to reading more here!

A.C. said...

Hey, who you callin' a derfwad? :) I just started reading your blog not too long ago, so this was a nice little introduction.

And the bat post is AMAZING.

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I really love your post! Keep it up!

Personal Life Coaching

Melanie said...

As always, I love you. Well played.

(I just sent you an e-mail. Let me know if you don't see it!)

Angie said...

Ok, I've only been here for .2 seconds and I'm already laughing my ass off - I'll be back often!

CP said...

So funny!

Thank you for the birthday wishes and now I have a new blog to read. I'll be back!

Momo Fali said...

So funny! You're family sounds as crazy as mine.

readsalot said...

I just watched the Kate Nash video you have posted. Were those dancing cats? I couldn't really tell. I love her and anyone who loves her music like I do! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

I loved meeting you at Derfwad Manor. I'm putting you in my Reader, and will be baaaaaaack.

Minnesota Matron said...

Thank you for turning the Matron onto BHJ. She now has a secret tryst and daily anticipation!

Mama Dawg said...

derfwads? Seriously? I haven't heard that term in, oh, so long.

Sigh....to be 10 again!

painted maypole said...

grocery shopping on the soccer field? no wonder the kid is crying. "mom, not grass for dinner AGAIN!"

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Her Bad Mother said...

Oh, with the laughing, THE LAUGHING.

Anonymous said...

man, now i,m humming the BHJ song AND really hungry for halupkis (not to mention highballs). that song was hilarious. i didn't get to see it until i was down at la la bird's in landsdowne for a family visit last weekend and it was mightily enjoyed by all! miss you- A

preTzel said...

*knock, knock* Anyone home? Where you hiding at J? I keep checking and there's nothing new to read. *pout* Olly, Olly, Oxen free...come out where ever you are.

Sheila @ Dr Cason.org said...

Hi Halushki!

Recovering from my trip to Hawaii and lingering over some of your recent posts!

:) Sheila (Dr.Cason)

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