Yeah, I said frickin'.
And it's raining and cold.
And I've been up since 6 AM.
You know, Monday gets a bad rap - especially from high school students, ditch diggers, and Bob Geldof - but truly, it's Tuesday that's the suckiest day of the week.
Here are some facts about Tuesday:
The name comes from Tiwesday, from Old English language Tiwes dæg, named after the Nordic god Tyr, who was the equivalent of the Roman war god Mars, and Greek god Ares.
God of War Day. Say no more.
Tuesdays are dedicated to Saint John the Baptist.Head lopping-off day.
In the Greek world, Tuesday (the day of the week of the Fall of Constantinople) is considered an unlucky day.How many times did you have a date with a really hot dude or gal in Constantinople, and couldn't get directions on your GPS? Yeah. Me too.
The same is true in the Spanish-speaking world, where a proverb runs: En martes, ni te cases ni te embarques, meaning, "On Tuesday, neither get married nor begin a journey."
I think that the new addendum to that proverb is "ni Twitter".
In business, particularly office work, one study has shown that Tuesday is usually the most productive day of the week.
When I worked in the cubicle world, the work week went like this:
Monday you're still on a weekend high. You still have that glow that comes from warm blankets and Sunday papers (except, of course, if you're a parent of a travel soccer player.)
Wednesday is hump day. Week's half over, and everyone is thinking of sex because morning DJs have been saying "hump day" for the entire 45 minutes of your commute to work.
Thursday is the day one of the secretaries brings in donuts. It's the small things that make a difference. Statistically, fewer suicides and dog-beatings happen on Thursdays because no one is suffering from low sugar. Thank you, Krispy Kreme.
I just made up that last statistic, but you kinda believed me for a second, didn't you?
And Friday? Friday the boss takes the day off to begin her weekend.
That leaves Tuesday. Tuesday there's no messing around being glowy or sexy or sugared-up. Tuesday, it's down to brass tacks and ball-bustin'.
Ouch, Tuesday! Ouch!
Did I ever tell you about the summer I lived in Boston and used to play pick-up softball with Aimee Mann from 'Til Tuesday? It's true. I know you all wonder whether I am really, actually, more-than-occasionally and unabashedly flouting the truth - no, I'm not really Bono's mother as the photo in the post below might suggest - but this time I swear it's fer real. Ask my friend Steve in Japan (whose birthday on October 17 I completely forgot. It was a Friday. I was drunk.) He used to play pick-up softball with Aimee Mann, too.
So anyway, here's why Aimee Mann and 'Til Tuesday and by association all Tuesdays suck:
Aimee Mann never once picked me to be on her team.
I mean, sure, I couldn't catch or throw or hit, but I think the real reason she dissed me was because I didn't have cool late-80's hair.
Ironically, now I do.
I thought I'd try to cheer myself up by sitting at the computer and clicking all my favorite linky-links that link to smiles and songs and happy times.
And I'd like to invite you to join me.
Together, we can knock Tuesday in the back of the knees and take her down again and again like a Catholic schoolgirl during Stations of the Cross.
It's an obscure reference, but one that will be thoroughly enjoyed by recovering papists everywhere. Sometimes I play to a niche audience.
So, here we go. Things that make me go "Whoo!" And I so rarely do go "Whoo!"
Where The Hell is Matt? dancing
Natalie Dee: America's Favorite Cracker's drawing
Nastia Luikin's tumbling
Irina Slutskaya's skating
Problem Child Bride's writing
Annika, 16 days post liver transplant, smiling
David Bowie parodies