Such A Thing As Too Much Imagination

You know you have an overactive imagination - or watch too many movies, or visit too many conspiracy theory blogs - when...


One sunny afternoon, you are in the Wegman's supermarket parking lot, loading your car with elite groceries, strapping your toddler into his car seat.

As you're wrestling puffy coat arms and concentrating on trying to snap all the plastic latches without catching a chubby hunk of neck, your toddler is suddenly very still, rapt by something up in the sky, something high over your left shoulder.

"LOOK! MOMMY! SOMETHING UP IN SKY!" he yells, a look of glee and awestruck wonder on his face.

And instead of thinking "Bird, balloon, rainbow...", your first thoughts are, of course.

(in descending order):







Because the best way to terrorize a medium-sized suburb of a podunk capital city is absolutely to send a squadron of 1941 Messerschmitt's over a strip mall parking lot and fire at grocery carts filled with whole grain bread, squash soup, and organic escarole.

And no, I don't as a rule eat mushrooms that I find in the woods.


(P.S. What was my toddler actually pointing to? A cloud. Unless there was a pterodactyl there seconds before. It could happen.)

19 comments:

Lesha said...

I am convinced my son sees ghosts or phantoms in corners of rooms, the way he stares intently...

If I had to pick, I think I'd prefer the Independence day aliens. Cool ships.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Did you picture the headline? 'Cause that would be my next thought.

Heather said...

So really...what was it? I have a weird fixation with always knowing the outcome.

Jozet at Halushki said...

Heather!

Ah yes...sorry about that.

I've added the answer at the bottom of the post.

Mr Farty said...

Could have been a ninja pterodactyl.

I've been reading way too much of the Bloggess.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Very funny!

preTzel said...

There is no such thing as too much imagination. If there was there are plenty of blogs that would not exist. ;)

I'm betting he saw the pterodactyl too. I see them in Iowa from time to time. Might have been a stray. ;)

PS - My word verification is darchet. What does that mean? Are you coding my DNA with that? Oooh, it says I am wrong and sent me back to type in remomanc. I'm frightened.

preTzel said...

PS - Does that handicap button turn the word verification into braille?

Neil said...

ooh, comments!

MommyTime said...

Whee! Comments are back!! Also? I love the visuals for what you imagined. You have an excellent imagination...

apathy lounge said...

Well...they say that kids have purer minds than we do and so they're able to see stuff that we can't. Because we don't believe. Who knows?

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Phew, comments again.

It reminds me of when my cat walks in the room at night and then freezes perfectly still and stares at a corner I can't see. WHAT IS THERE!?!?!? Freaks me the heck out.

Anissa Mayhew said...

So am I the only one that assumes you lie about certain points in your story? Like, maybe you were in fact in the parking lot of a 7-11, your hands filled with Cheetos and a 92 oz big gulp, because those are what people who smoke enough joints to be THAT paranoid are generally found stuffing into their face. Squash soup. I scoff!

I want some of what you're doing.

Katie Alender said...

OMG! That's exactly how my brain works, too. A sound outside at night? Zombies, of course!

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

Hey! Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not coming to get you.

Phil said...

Wegmans? Seriously, Wegmans? Have you lost your mind, woman? Or did you really just need to look at the $500 a lb truffles?

Variations On A Theme said...

To this day, my sisters swear they saw a pterodactyl in the sky after I'd gone in the house. I was about 6 or 7 years old. They tried to describe it and years later when they saw a picture of a pterodactyl, they both said, "That's it!"

So, yes, it could happen. So glad to see a new post.

Variations On A Theme said...

AAAHH! I just posted a comment then read the other comments and preTzel said she sees pterodactyls in Iowa from time to time. WE LIVED IN IOWA WHEN MY SISTERS SAW THE PTERODACTYL.

They DO exist!

packey said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


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