Academy of Trapped In The Car With Mom

Scene: Mother and Child in mini van on another car ride to another activity. Mother is driving. Child is reading in the back of car.


Mother (driving):

Child (reading in back of car):


Monotone NPR Guy on radio: …and so it wasn’t until the late eighteenth century that the piano as we know it came into existence, blah, blah, blah, blahbitty, blah....


Mother: Do you know what people mean when they say “eighteenth century”.

Child (reading in back of car): 

Mother: Hey!

Child: What.

Mother: Do you know what people mean when they say “eighteenth century”.

Child: Yes.

Mother: Do you know…you know what it means, right? Eighteenth century?

Child: Yes.

Mother:
 
Child (reading in back of car):

Mother: Well, can you tell me what it means?

Child: MooOOooooOooom.

Mother: You know it means….

Child: Yes. Yes. Yes. I know what it means. It means the 1700s. 1701 up till 1800 or something. That’s what “eighteenth century” means. Not the 1800s. It means the 1700s. Okay?

Mother: Okay.

Child (reading):

Mother: You know, I’m pretty impressed that you knew that! I’m glad they’re teaching you these things in school. I didn’t understand that “eighteenth century” meant 1700s until high school. It‘s good that your school is teaching you these….

Child: Sigh. Mom. You told me.

Mother: What do you mean?

Child: We didn’t learn it in school. Or, I don’t know, maybe we did later. But you told me first. I was trapped in the car with you and I was, like, seven years old and you were listening to your talk radio and you told me the whole thing about eighteenth century meaning the 1700s.

Mother: Oh.

Child: And in, like, second grade or something I was trying to explain it to other kids and they were all like “Oh, okay, whatever.”

Mother: You were talking about the eighteenth century in second grade?

Child: I don’t know. I was just trying to tell people. But you already explained all this to me, and I already know it. Okay?

Mother: Hmm.

Child:

Mother:

Child (reading in back of car):

Mother: Should I buy you some Tiger Beat or J-14 magazines so you can talk to kids about, you know, kid stuff?

Child: No. Mom. It's okay. I just want to read the book I’m reading right now. Okay? 

Mother: Okay. 

Child (reading in back of car):

Mother: Do you want me to get you Twilight to read? 

Child: MOM. 

Mother: Okay! Okay! I’ll just drive. 

Child: Okay.

Mother: Okay. 

Child:

Mother:

Child (reading in back of car):

Mother (driving):

Child (reading in back of car):

Mother: Do you know what a harpsichord is?

Fin

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