All I Want For Christmas

Just pretending for a moment that I'm not a sensible, selfless, anti-consumerist, adult who truly believes that it's the spirit of the holiday that counts, not the goodies.

Just pretending, mind you.

No. Really.

Dear Santy Claus,

I was a very good human this year.

I was a good mommy and kept my children fed, watered, and exercised.

I made the choice to buy new clothes for my children instead of buying new clothes for me because I know that it's tougher to get through middle school in high-water pants than it is for me to get through grocery shopping in ripped jeans. Plus, I look good in ripped jeans, anyway.

I was so, so good, Santy. While driving on the Carlisle Pike, I occasionally slowed down and let in the jerk driver who intentionally didn't merge until the last minute. I tried really hard to not hate on the jerk driver if they didn't give me the "Thanks, Buddy!" hand wave in the rear view mirror.

I donated an extra dollar at the cash register to whatever charitable cause asked for a dollar because how can I say no to a dollar for someone in need when there I am spending two dollars for a bottle of iced raspberry tea.

I did not threaten to "come over there, and you'd better be very, very afraid" after spending two days on the phone trying to sort out a medical insurance bill, only to be told in the 48th hour that I had been talking to the wrong person all along and had to start over from scratch.

I had the oil changed on time.


I've been good.

Now here's whaddIwant. 

Wool socks.
I can never get enough wool socks. Wool socks are warm in winter. Wool socks are cool in summer. Wool socks can hold three gallons of sweat or puddle water and still retain heat. I love wool socks. Wool socks are not only practical, but they are sexy. And don't let any cotton-wearers tell you different. (SmartWool is good. It doesn't itch.)

Electric Tea Kettle
I have a cheapie plastic electric tea kettle and it has rocked my morning world. If I had a proper electric tea kettle, the glow off my improved morning attitude could save the entire universe. Think about what that would mean for the universe. Even the rough parts of Mechanicsburg.

New Tent
The damn cats peed in my other tent. If you've ever smelled cat pee on anything, you will know that there is no way to undo this situation. I need a new tent. A six person three-season tent will do. A ground cloth would also be most excellent.

A Case of Lindemans Framboise Lambic
It's a fancy-pants Belgian beer. To go with the tent.

Knee High Black Leather Boots
To go with the beer.
< --- These are nice.

Black Leather Jacket
To go with the boots.

The Entire Midsommer Murders Series
I love kinky English villagers.

Tickets to Events
I'm not picky. Any mix of movie, theater, and National figure skating competition tickets would be swell. Maybe a beer tasting or two.

A Wii Fit
I have delusions of exercising. This delusion would not be complete without a Wii Fit to trip over in my family room.

This Picture, Framed

 I know that Maxfield Parrish is a bit...pedestrian. Sort of the early 20th century version of Thomas Kinkade.

I don't care.

I like this painting.

It feels like my childhood.

The warm summers.

The indigo twilights.

The groups of androgynous Pierrot clowns.

And Coffee
I think you know what I mean.

Anyway...I think that about finishes up my list.

Until I think of ten more things.

Mostly, nine more pairs of wool socks.

Your truly and sincerely,

Josette at Halushki

Now, I'll just go back to enjoying the wool socks I do have.


jess said...

Mechanicsburg!!?! You must live near(ish) where I went to college. I'm pretty sure I've been to the Mechanicsburg library. Wait- that's PA, right? Not Mechanicsburg, ND?

I'm pretty sure Santy will bring you all those things because you have been exceptionally good. Although you might want to rework that line about not telling the dr's office people you were going to come down there and they should be afraid. I had a hard time believing it. said...

I'm very Michael Corleone that way. Soft spoken, but don't mess with me.

Okay, not really. :-)

S said...

All *I* want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

And coffee.

Rima said...

Do those socks really not itch? I might put 'em on my list, too. said...

I honestly don't think they itch, and my feet would let me know. Most sporting goods stores carry them - or something similar - so you can feel for yourself. They absorb sweat well and are super warm in cold weather. They wick.

Magpie said...

I would like more pairs of Smart Wool socks too. Many more.

I hope Santy Claus is nice to you.

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