Revenge of Trapped In The Car With Mom

Scene: Mother and Child and Preschool Child in mini van on another car ride to another activity. Mother is driving, again listening to NPR. Child is reading in the back of car.

Mother (driving, listening to NPR):

Child (reading in back of car):

Monotone NPR announcer on the radio: ...it was during that time that the rutabaga lost favor with the aristocracy and rapidly fell out of decline as a plot device in operas and novels of the day blah, blah, blah, balhbitty, blah....

Preschool Child: MOMMY! LOOK AT THAT CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT!

Mother (driving, listening to NPR):

Preschool Child: I said MOMMY! LOOK AT THAT CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT!

Mother (driving, listening to NPR): Mmm-hmm! That's a big truck!

Preschool Child: That's NOT a truck! It's a CONSTRUCTION equipment! What KIND of a CONSTRUCTION equipment is it, Mommy? Do you know?

Mother: Uhh...I think...uhh I think it's a...uhm... excavator?

Preschool Child: NO! It's NOT an excavator. It's a BACKHOE.

Mother:  Oh! That's right! It's a backhoe.

Mother (driving, listening to NPR):

Preschool Child: Do you KNOW why it's a BACKHOE?

Mother: Uhh...hmmm. I think... is it because...

Preschool Child: A BACKHOE has a LOADER, too! I didn't see an EXCAVATOR. Did you see an EXCAVATOR?

Mother: I didn't see an excavator. I thought that the backhoe was a...

Preschool Child: When I grow up I want to drive a backhoe AND an excavator! And I want a CRANE for Christmas. The kind that WORKS like that kind we saw that TIME. Remember?

Mother: I think I do. Was it...

Preschool Child: How OLD do you have to be to drive an ATV? Do they make little ATVs for little guys like me? I sat on a little guy ATV remember at Bass Pro Shop. Can I get a little ATV like the one at Bass Pro Shop for CHRISTMAS?

Mother: Well, I think you have to be older to ride an ATV. Like twelve. Or thirty. But....

Preschool Child: This ATV was LITTLE for a LITTLE guy like me. HEY! LOOK AT THAT CAR CARRIER! Did you see that CAR CARRIER! Do you know what kinds of CARS are on that?

Mother: Uhh...they look like...uhm...

Preschool Child: They look like MAM MAM's car. But not the same COLOR as Mam Mam's car. They are a different KIND of COLOR. Do you know the KIND of car that Mam Mam's car is?


Mother: Mam Mam has a....

Preschooler: Mam Mam doesn't HAVE a car! Mam Mam has a MINI SUV! And I want to get a MINI EXCAVATOR for Christmas. For LITTLE guys! Do you know what a MINI EXCAVATOR is Mommy?

Mother:

Preschooler:  Do you know what a MINI EXCAVATOR is Mommy?

Mother: You know, Honey, there's a lot of traffic on the road to watch out for, and Mommy can't really talk when she drives.

Child (reading in back of car): That's not true. You talk all the time to me. You talk all the time while you drive.

Mother:

Child: You talk while you drive and you ask me lots of questions. Over and over and over and over and over...

Mother: Okay. I got it.

Child: ...and over and over and over....

Mother: Thank you! Yes! I said I got it!

Child (reading in back of car):

Mother (driving, listening to NPR):


Monotone NPR announcer on the radio: ...in the eighteenth century, the rutabaga was appropriated by the The Church as a symbol of piety, and the pagan rutabaga fertility festivals fell into decline blah, blah, blah, balhbitty, blah....



Preschooler: I said, do you know what a MINI EXCAVATOR is Mommy?

Child (reading in back of car):
 
Mother (driving, turning off NPR):  I do not know what a mini excavator is, Honey! Can you tell Mommy?

Preschooler: WELL! A MINI EXCAVATOR is for LITTLE guys...

Fade Out over Preschooler Voice.
 

6 comments:

Kat said...

So much for actually listening to NPR eh?

Anonymous said...

LOL! I have many Tonka books to send you. Not only have I become an expert in construction vehicles but dinosaurs and rocks also. The best Tonka book is the one that makes noises for every construction vehicle there is. Bring your earplugs.--Susan

Fairly Odd Mother said...

My youngest didn't speak words until almost 3. I worried, worried, worried. Now, I just want a little quiet, just every 4th day b/c he hasn't STOPPED talking in 3 years.

You little guy sounds like a hoot. That photo is killer cute.

Becky said...

I *completely* remember that phase from the preschool years... I realized that all my life, I didn't care *at all* about construction vehicles, and I was being schooled by someone still wearing a diaper. :P

Mr Farty said...

You have been well and truly pwned. Bet your other kid was smirking into her book.

Jozet at Halushki said...

YES! And EXACTLY to ALL these comments. And yes, this was true revenge from the older child in the previous post. She was just waiting for her moment.

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