2. If someone is telling you that she is looking out for your best interest and then she immediately tries to sell you something, the best response is to hide your wallet. And then giggle.
3. Flip-flops or very high heels are rarely the best choice of footwear. Chances are good that no matter the event, you might have to at some point run, jump, walk through a foot of water, or dance. Or change a flat tire.
4. Don't make a point of offending people with your choice of clothing. Most people will either think you're just pulling a tantrum (if young) or mentally unstable (if older) and won't take you seriously. If someone is worth offending, do it with your words and art. Or with a really inventive prank.
5. Don't whine to me about how hard it is to practice your music or study your schoolwork or learn a new athletic skill. The better you get at anything, the harder you have to work to get even better. Developing new higher level skills always takes some sweat and there are days you'll want to give up - even with those subjects, arts, sports that are your passion. Fight or don't fight. But don't go looking for a consolation prize for being cute and charming. Because Shirley Temple is still alive.
6. It's better to bring a __________ (coat, water bottle, switchblade, etc.) and not need it, than to need a ___________ (coat, water bottle, switchblade, etc.) and not have it.
7. Good manners are a sign to other people you afford them some respect just because they are human beings, and you recognize that every human being has a hard row to hoe. You're not going to prove some important point to anyone by declining to say "please" or "thank you". But you could change someone's moment from bad to good by extending them the most basic form of kindness. If it's that important to be rude to someone, let them know directly. Or write a blog post about them.
8. Ask more questions. Always ask more questions. Except of your mother at 9:30 at night.
9. The plural of "anecdote" is not "data." The plural of "dollar" is not "worth". The plural of "television appearance" is not "important". The plural of "follower" is not "infallible". The plural of "shopping" is not "immortality". The plural of "makeup" is not "beautiful".
10. If someone is trying hard to convince you how wonderful his life is, smile, nod, and say a quiet little prayer for him. He needs it.
11. Wear clean underwear or don't wear clean underwear. If you're worried about getting hit by a bus, stop thinking about your underwear and watch where you're walking instead.
|Sure thing, Mom!|