Facebook Will Charge Users - New "Pay Per Post" Fee Schedule*


FREE!

-Simple Post 
-Birthday Wishes 
-Congratulatory Posts 
-Dangerous Weather Update - only posted to Facebook friends in your region 
-Open Party Invitations 
-Traffic reports for your region 
-Jokes and funny stories - Free (as long as at least one Like or "LOL" comment) 
-Support requests for self or family regarding serious life-threatening illness/natural disaster 
-New baby/job/home/engagement announcements - 1 Free per year   
-Awareness messages for causes for which you volunteer 50+ hours per year (not including your time spent posting awareness messages on social media sites)
-Rickrolling

    $ .50 per post
    -Dangerous Weather Update - posted willy-nilly, even to people in different hemispheres 
    -Earthquake warnings - (In California, quake must measure 5.9 or over) 
    -Motivational and philosophical quotations 
    -Pictures of people in Wal-Mart 
    -Report of what you just ate 
    -Complaints about the day of the week 
    -Medical issue complaints - chronic, serious acute (e.g. asthma, diabetes, major surgery, etc.) 
    -Each vacation/party photo 
    -Posts letting the world know how awesome your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is - 1 per year

    $1.00 per post
    -Dangerous weather update that turns out not to be dangerous after all; add $1.00 for each friend who unnecessarily moved furniture out of his basement (flood warning) or who boarded up a window (hurricane warning)
    -Photos of  animals 
    -Work complaints 
    -Traffic complaints 
    -Quizzes and polls 
    -Jokes and funny stories that bombed 
    -Music videos 
    -Posts which quote movie dialogue/song lyrics 
    -Posts which show off your memorization of Monty Python skits 
    -Spiritual/religious posts - non inflammatory nor obnoxious; must extend unconditional love or blessings 
    -Political posts - rational; can be read without imagining spittle flying from author's mouth; sarcasm free; no condescending jabs
    -Additional new baby/job/home/engagement announcements

    $5.00 per post
    -Status updates and requests regarding Facebook games (e.g. Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc.) 
    -Medical issue complaints - non-life threatening (e.g. common cold, sprained ankle, boils, etc.) 
    -Religious posts which damn non-believers 
    -Political posts with implied spittle or eyerolls 
    -Posts which compare anything or anyone to Hitler 
    -Photos of animals in clothing 
    -Photos of your children 
    -Earthquake warnings in California, under 5.9


    $10.00 per post
    -Additional posts letting the world know how awesome your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is 
    -Awareness messages for causes for which you do nothing more than sit on your butt posting awareness messages on social media sites 
    -Sports scores and updates 
    -Cute/smart/talented kid stories 
    -Posts which purport to aid political uprisings in foreign countries (refunded if specific post is actually proven to precipitate downfall of said oppressive government) 
    - Venting about your kids (Free if you can prove that a specific vent prevented you from 1) smacking the child to Kingdom Come or 2) faking your own death and then moving to a small island in a warm climate or 3) eating an entire rum cake.) 

    $20.00 per post
    -Whining about any Philadelphia sports team 
    - Grammar and spelling mistakes 
    - Publicly posted recaps of an Amazingly Fun Party to which some but not all of your Facebook friends were invited  

    $40.00 per post
    -Blocks on parents from reading any single post or comment (If you are younger than 18yo, the money will be deposited into a college/vocational/technical school fund; if you are 18yo or older, money will be donated to parent's vacation fund.)  
    - Complaints about Facebook 


    $50.00 per post
    -Whinging about your ex boyfriend/girlfriend 
    -Complaining about your hangover 
    -Posts about a weird dream you had 
    -Post pointing out grammar and spelling mistakes 
    -Yankees cheer posts
    *This is not a complete list.

    10 comments:

    Amie aka Mammaloves said...

    $1000 post: Anything declaring how awesome your life is and how fancy you are because of some awesome swag tour you're about to jet off to.

    jess said...

    I love you. And not just because you teach me how to dye my tiny eyebrow- shaped mustaches.

    Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

    Brilliant. :-D

    planetnomad said...

    Sigh. I wish!
    Also in the $10 category--posts describing your workout.

    planetnomad said...

    And, in the irony category, I'm going to link to this on FB. No really I am.

    OHmommy said...

    Love!

    slouchy said...

    Perfection.

    CaraBee said...

    Maybe if that pricing structure were established I might actually get on FB again.

    Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

    Love it.

    writing company said...

    it's nice, what could I even say. realy worth statement

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