FREE!
-Simple Post
-Birthday Wishes
-Congratulatory Posts
-Dangerous Weather Update - only posted to Facebook friends in your region
-Open Party Invitations
-Traffic reports for your region
-Jokes and funny stories - Free (as long as at least one Like or "LOL" comment)
-Support requests for self or family regarding serious life-threatening illness/natural disaster
-New baby/job/home/engagement announcements - 1 Free per year
-Awareness messages for causes for which you volunteer 50+ hours per year (not including your time spent posting awareness messages on social media sites)
-Rickrolling
$ .50 per post
-Dangerous Weather Update - posted willy-nilly, even to people in different hemispheres
-Earthquake warnings - (In California, quake must measure 5.9 or over)
-Motivational and philosophical quotations
-Pictures of people in Wal-Mart
-Report of what you just ate
-Complaints about the day of the week
-Medical issue complaints - chronic, serious acute (e.g. asthma, diabetes, major surgery, etc.)
-Each vacation/party photo
-Posts letting the world know how awesome your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is - 1 per year
$1.00 per post
-Dangerous weather update that turns out not to be dangerous after all; add $1.00 for each friend who unnecessarily moved furniture out of his basement (flood warning) or who boarded up a window (hurricane warning)
-Photos of animals
-Work complaints
-Traffic complaints
-Quizzes and polls
-Jokes and funny stories that bombed
-Music videos
-Posts which quote movie dialogue/song lyrics
-Posts which show off your memorization of Monty Python skits
-Spiritual/religious posts - non inflammatory nor obnoxious; must extend unconditional love or blessings
-Political posts - rational; can be read without imagining spittle flying from author's mouth; sarcasm free; no condescending jabs
-Additional new baby/job/home/engagement announcements
$5.00 per post
-Status updates and requests regarding Facebook games (e.g. Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc.)
-Medical issue complaints - non-life threatening (e.g. common cold, sprained ankle, boils, etc.)
-Religious posts which damn non-believers
-Political posts with implied spittle or eyerolls
-Posts which compare anything or anyone to Hitler
-Photos of animals in clothing
-Photos of your children
-Earthquake warnings in California, under 5.9
$10.00 per post
-Additional posts letting the world know how awesome your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is
-Awareness messages for causes for which you do nothing more than sit on your butt posting awareness messages on social media sites
-Sports scores and updates
-Cute/smart/talented kid stories
-Posts which purport to aid political uprisings in foreign countries (refunded if specific post is actually proven to precipitate downfall of said oppressive government)
- Venting about your kids (Free if you can prove that a specific vent prevented you from 1) smacking the child to Kingdom Come or 2) faking your own death and then moving to a small island in a warm climate or 3) eating an entire rum cake.)
$20.00 per post
-Whining about any Philadelphia sports team
- Grammar and spelling mistakes
- Publicly posted recaps of an Amazingly Fun Party to which some but not all of your Facebook friends were invited
$40.00 per post
-Blocks on parents from reading any single post or comment (If you are younger than 18yo, the money will be deposited into a college/vocational/technical school fund; if you are 18yo or older, money will be donated to parent's vacation fund.)
- Complaints about Facebook
$50.00 per post
-Whinging about your ex boyfriend/girlfriend
-Complaining about your hangover
-Posts about a weird dream you had
-Post pointing out grammar and spelling mistakes
-Yankees cheer posts
*This is not a complete list.
10 comments:
$1000 post: Anything declaring how awesome your life is and how fancy you are because of some awesome swag tour you're about to jet off to.
I love you. And not just because you teach me how to dye my tiny eyebrow- shaped mustaches.
Brilliant. :-D
Sigh. I wish!
Also in the $10 category--posts describing your workout.
And, in the irony category, I'm going to link to this on FB. No really I am.
Love!
Perfection.
Maybe if that pricing structure were established I might actually get on FB again.
Love it.
it's nice, what could I even say. realy worth statement
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