Facebook Will Charge Users - New "Pay Per Post" Fee Schedule*

FREE!

-Simple Post 

-Birthday Wishes 

-Congratulatory Posts 

-Dangerous Weather Update - only posted to Facebook friends in your region 

-Open Party Invitations 

-Traffic reports for your region 

-Jokes and funny stories - Free (as long as at least one Like or "LOL" comment) 

-Support requests for self or family regarding serious life-threatening illness/natural disaster 

-New baby/job/home/engagement announcements - 1 Free per year   

-Awareness messages for causes for which you volunteer 50+ hours per year (not including your time spent posting awareness messages on social media sites)

-Rickrolling

$ .50 per post

-Dangerous Weather Update - posted willy-nilly, even to people in different hemispheres 

-Earthquake warnings - (In California, quake must measure 5.9 or over) 

-Motivational and philosophical quotations 

-Pictures of people in Wal-Mart 

-Report of what you just ate 

-Complaints about the day of the week 

-Medical issue complaints - chronic, serious acute (e.g. asthma, diabetes, major surgery, etc.) 

-Each vacation/party photo 

-Posts letting the world know how awesome your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is - 1 per year

$1.00 per post

-Dangerous weather update that turns out not to be dangerous after all; add $1.00 for each friend who unnecessarily moved furniture out of his basement (flood warning) or who boarded up a window (hurricane warning)

-Photos of  animals 

-Work complaints 

-Traffic complaints 

-Quizzes and polls 

-Jokes and funny stories that bombed 

-Music videos 

-Posts which quote movie dialogue/song lyrics 

-Posts which show off your memorization of Monty Python skits 

-Spiritual/religious posts - non inflammatory nor obnoxious; must extend unconditional love or blessings 

-Political posts - rational; can be read without imagining spittle flying from author's mouth; sarcasm free; no condescending jabs

-Additional new baby/job/home/engagement announcements

$5.00 per post

-Status updates and requests regarding Facebook games (e.g. Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc.) 

-Medical issue complaints - non-life threatening (e.g. common cold, sprained ankle, boils, etc.) 

-Religious posts which damn non-believers 

-Political posts with implied spittle or eyerolls 

-Posts which compare anything or anyone to Hitler 

-Photos of animals in clothing 

-Photos of your children 

-Earthquake warnings in California, under 5.9

$10.00 per post

-Additional posts letting the world know how awesome your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is 

-Awareness messages for causes for which you do nothing more than sit on your butt posting awareness messages on social media sites 

-Sports scores and updates 

-Cute/smart/talented kid stories 

-Posts which purport to aid political uprisings in foreign countries (refunded if specific post is actually proven to precipitate downfall of said oppressive government) 

- Venting about your kids (Free if you can prove that a specific vent prevented you from 1) smacking the child to Kingdom Come or 2) faking your own death and then moving to a small island in a warm climate or 3) eating an entire rum cake.) 

$20.00 per post

-Whining about any Philadelphia sports team 

- Grammar and spelling mistakes 

- Publicly posted recaps of an Amazingly Fun Party to which some but not all of your Facebook friends were invited  

$40.00 per post

-Blocks on parents from reading any single post or comment (If you are younger than 18yo, the money will be deposited into a college/vocational/technical school fund; if you are 18yo or older, money will be donated to parent's vacation fund.)  

- Complaints about Facebook 

$50.00 per post

-Whinging about your ex boyfriend/girlfriend 

-Complaining about your hangover 

-Posts about a weird dream you had 

-Post pointing out grammar and spelling mistakes 

-Yankees cheer posts

*This is not a complete list.

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