Don't Mess With My Chicken Sammich

Kid: Your chicken sandwich has poison in it.


Kid: It probably wasn't free range. That's cruel.


Kid: It's bad for the environment.

Mother: The FDA says it's okay for that chocolate you're eating to have rat poop in it.

Kid: Ew. Really?

Mother: Your MP3 player was most likely built with components mined by slave labor.

Kid: Oh.

Mother: This car ride to your sports practice is killing three polar bears.

Kid: Alright. I got it.

Mother: One was just a little furry guy. With dewy eyes. His name was Dewey.

Kid: You can stop now. I got your point.

Mother: I'm going to finish my sandwich now, shall I?

I poop in your peanut butter, too.

This week on I find excellent gifts on Etsy for all the pop cult fans in your life. Warning: The lifelike Twilight Vampire Baby Doll will freak you the hell out. Not safe viewing for people who can't sleep with their foot dangling over the side of the bed.


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