Explanation Answers

1. You only need two little drops. That's enough. You don't need to use the equivalent of two dead horses. 

This was during homework. I was explaining to the five year old how much glue it takes to paste a piece of paper the size of a postage stamp to a larger piece of paper.

2. Do you see now why I told you not to swing on that _________? Do you understand that I wasn't just being a meany? Now, help me find a screwdriver. This whole bottom of the _________ is scraping the floor. 

Door. Again, explaining this to the five year old, but it could have easily been the older two.

3. Because it looks better with the long end matching the long end and the short end matching the short end. Although, people will probably trip over it now. But that's their problem. 

Why I was re-arranging the the area rug the way I was. The long end was positioned along the sofa, the short end along the love seat (i.e. short sofa). This was the topic of much discussion with everyone involved suddenly acting like a design expert. Thank you HGTV.

4. You know how a rotary phone had a wire hooked to the wall and voices came over the wire? And now how with your cell phone, there is no wire and the voices come through the air? It's like that. 

Explaining to a customer how wireless Internet works. 

5. He was like the Lady Gaga of the 1970s. Except skinnier.

Explaining to a teenage customer who David Bowie is. There is a photo of Bowie in Ziggy Stardust getup currently on the cover of some magazine. Teen customer was all, like, "OMG, who IS he? He's SO WEIRD looking. WHY is he dressed that way?" Although, it could have been Elton John. Everything old is new again.

6. You're about a three on that scale. But only because I've only ever seen you dress like my husband dresses when he's doing yard work. 

This is a response to the question "How gay am I on the gay scale?" A friend (who is gay) was hit on by a gentleman (who friend said was "acting really gay"), and then friend asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 - with 1 being "gay" and 10 being "really gay" - how gay he himself seemed. I would have given him a 2, but we once sang show tunes together, so, you know, I can't fight the stereotype on that one.

7. I really hate this song. Every time I hear it, all I can think is "This is what Satan will play in hell on Christmas Day to punish Woody Allen."

8. It means “far away”. So in this case, it means you're making it move from far away.

Remote. As in "I want a remote control Jeep for Christmas!"

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